Venus Retrograde in Gemini from May 15-June 27, 2012

Venus

**UPDATE:  Hurray, Venus is finally direct!!  Check out the 200+ comments here – from their content, you may find even more information that you seek!**

Is your relationship a little rocky now?  Perhaps a big ticket item is screaming at you to spend your money?  Read on!

We have a rather unusual Venus Retrograde happening for 2012, and more than enough to report to our loyal readers!  Venus has been very high and brightly visible in the northern skies – and more north than usual.  Since April 2nd, Venus is by declination “out-of-bounds” until the middle of this retrograde cycle, of which a rare astronomical event will occur:

Venus will cross the face of the Sun!

How rare?  This phenomenon happens in pairs once every century (more than a century actually), with approximately 8 years separating each pair.  In part, this is due to the 8-year Venus synodic cycle, consisting of 5 retrograde cycles, making a pentagram shape.  The first of this rare pairing happened in Gemini on June 8, 2004.  Remember what you were doing or starting around that time period and perhaps a conclusion, completion or solution could be at hand now.

On June 5-6, 2012, this will happen in Gemini again – around sunset for those in the Western United States (see map at link).  Even if Venus only appears as a speck on the Sun’s face, I can hardly wait to see NASA’s photos of this, it should be spectacular!  (I will update this blog post with a good photo at a later date for reference, in the meantime – you may see it live at slooh.com – thanks MoonCat! Astrology for the link).

Prior to this 2004-2012 pairing, the last event happened in 1882, and the next one is scheduled for 2117!  Therefore, it is most likely that we will not in our current lifetimes see this syzygy happen again!

I really like Peter Stockinger’s blog post with an excellent Traditional Astrology viewpoint on this, a summary of Venus affliction here:

“Due to her debilitated state during the conjunction to the Sun, Venus will not affect us in a positive, gentle and loving manner but she will rather test some of us to a high degree. We can expect that old relationships may come back to light and old lovers could reappear.  Past events may haunt some people and much resentment may bubble up to the surface. Domestic conflicts should be expected when old structures and patterns are broken up to be rearranged.”

I also feel this is an important and rather symbolic astrological event as well, and have some ideas of how this applies to our lives.  But first, let’s discuss each factor.

What does the Planet, Venus Rule Astrologically?

Signs of Taurus and Libra, Values, Relationships (Business and Personal), Commitment, Negotiation and Peacemaking, Contracts, Money and Material Possessions, Women, Art (especially visual, or even tactile) and Artistic Expression, Romance, Beauty, Fashion, Style, Taste (especially if sweet).

It may be mentioned that in ancient times, Venus in the Western evening sky is the Goddess of love, but while in the Eastern morning sky, she has a more “warrior” type of aspect – perhaps due to the mythological stories of her entrance to the Underworld, purifying herself by passing the 7 gates, and 8 days later (during the inferior cycle), she emerges in a more pure light – she now loves herself first, and truly this is healthy for love.  When our hearts break, they actually in reality break OPEN, and we do not need to stop loving others, but instead we need to love ourselves MORE!  Interestingly, the Mayan and Toltec mythology of Venus also resonates with warrior energy, as Venus is a male god of war (Quetzalcoatl).  When Quetzalcoatl is in the Underworld, there is a sense that one can get away with bad behavior as no one is watching.  So historically, it was thought that robberies, rape and/or other abuses were rampant at these times.  But, by the time Quetzalcoatl appeared in the Eastern sky, he is angrier than a hornets’ nest that was stirred and often exacted revenge on those who thought misbehaving would go unnoticed.  This can apply another layer of understanding on a symbolical level about Venus Retrograde cycles.

More About Venus Retrograde (aka Venus Rx)

Approximately every 1 to 1 1/2 years, Venus goes into a “retrograde” cycle.  From a sky viewpoint from Earth, it means that Venus appears to move backward through the Zodiac.  Venus is not really moving backward, it just looks like it.  Think of when your car is passing someone in the next lane how it appears the other car is moving backward, but in reality the car is moving forward – just not as fast as yours.  It is kind of like that :-)

It should also be noted that the retrograde energies are the strongest on the very days they change direction – in this case, that is May 15th and June 27th.  You can also feel these energies about 5 or more days BEFORE these direction changes.  This may help in your understanding of how the energies will express themselves.

What does this mean in our lives?  When any planet goes retrograde, it is often a time that is not productive for starting new things.  But it is a good time for re-examining existing things in our lives to see if they still work for us, and dumping what doesn’t work.  We may never examine these things as we can get really busy, so it is good that we have a way to know when to reevaluate our lives and our values – and this is what Venus going retrograde can offer all of us.  Even if we are not conscious of this influence, things may happen unexpectedly that make us look at stuff and decide whether we want it or not.   I say it is better to be prepared for this so you are not overwhelmed with trying to start things that feel like a struggle and uphill battle.  Personally, I prefer efficiency when I can do it!  I hope this article enhances your efficiency as well!  (Have I yet revealed how Capricorn I really am?  If not, I promise I will do moreso over time!)

If you happen to have a natal or a birth chart placement of Venus retrograde, you were born with a natural hesitation toward the things that Venus rules.  You may contemplate more than usual when it comes to choosing anything from art to clothing to (yes) relationships, and there can be a carefulness with money (not a bad thing).  While you have the ability to go very deep in appreciation and assessing value to aspects of your life, the fact you hesitate can be viewed by others as a lack of trust, whether it is real or not.  When Venus is also retrograde in a sign where trust can already be difficult (like Scorpio), relationships with romantic partners can be challenging and there may be lessons to learn about others.  Since Venus rules women, this can also be a source of strife, where the Venus Rx person appears to be the “alien” or “outsider.”  Learning how to relate is one of the lessons of having a Venus retrograde – but once learned and embraced consciously, it can be an amazing blessing in relationships as they have become an important focus to do right.

Venus in Gemini

This Venus retrograde cycle is in the sign of Gemini (the Twins), which is ruled by the changeable, adaptable planet Mercury.  Gemini resonates with all forms of communication, in particular with language – speaking, reading, writing, media of many types, networking, getting the word out, wit and charm, entertaining and exchanging ideas and information, and due to the twin nature, it can resonate with duality:  pros and cons, day and night, similarities and differences.  Knowledge of beautiful ideas can be reached and discussed because there is a desire to learn and explore all viewpoints of new territory, thus boredom is not exactly welcome – and if it is done in truth, you can discover so much more about the other person and even about yourself than you knew before – learning can really be fun.  There can be a mental sensitivity finely-tuned so that one knows what one is thinking or what they will say.  You can see that people in about any form of advertising could have a Gemini signature in their chart.  When this energy is used for good, people’s needs get met in ways they may not express as the Gemini senses the nuances and knows that what they might want would likely match other people’s wants, and apply accordingly.

Another application?  A darker one would be arguing for being right, rather than seeking truth, passive-aggressive behavior (and denial of such), rationalizing so that one can do something wrong and feel justified in doing so, manipulation of facts as to not show truth in order to further one’s ego-based desires, projecting the “bad guy” (shadow) on another so that one can feel like the “good guy” – need I go on further?  One of the darkest expressions of this is the proverbial con-artist who is clever enough to say exactly what a person wants to hear so that they can take advantage of them financially or a plethora of other motives (and sex could be one, since Gemini in Tarot resonates with the Lovers Card).  As noted, retrogrades can be a time when the darker expressions happen more often, so it is a good idea to be cautious of these expressions beforehand.

Who will be most affected by this Venus Rx cycle?

While it is fair to say all of us will be affected on one level or another, people with the Sun, Moon or personal planets (Mercury, Venus or Mars), or the Angles (i.e. Ascendant, Midheaven, etc.) between 7 and 24 degrees Gemini, Sagittarius, Virgo or Pisces will feel this time period the most.  Also, because of Venus rulership, Tauruses and Libras will also feel more affected and should always be aware of Venus Retrograde cycles.  Those with natal Venus retrograde will also feel the retrogrades a lot, although it can lighten up a bit when Venus goes direct by Secondary Progression. People in professions ruled by Venus will also notice things are a bit wonky (more on this below).

So – What do we do?

If we make conscious decisions with this energy, chances are we will see the positive expressions working in our lives, instead of the undesirable influences.  If we just bumble along la-tee-dah, it is usually the darker energies that find expression and then we can feel picked-on by the Universe.  While we cannot always entirely avoid the undesirable expressions, we can know enough to deal with energies differently and lessen the aftermath.  Let’s look at some life categories and see what we can do!

Relationships

This is a pretty big deal during Venus Retrograde.  If there are things wrong with a relationship and you were ignoring these things for reasons of security, this could be a time when the pressures of the things wrong actually outweigh the need for stability.  It could be your decision to end, but also the partner’s decision, which is more stressful.  As for starting a relationship during this time, just know that the timing demonstrates that it is an old issue to be worked out, rather than a new beginning.  Old problems can sometimes have a new face, and if you decide to enter a relationship during this time, you may discover it ends in the same way it did before.  This also can happen with an old flame coming back, thinking things can be “different” this time.  The timing alone tells me it will not change (if it would, they would come back when Venus is direct, not retrograde).  I will not tell you to say no to a relationship during this time, but just know the likely consequences so you are not as hurt or surprised if things do not work well.  This information can also apply to business relations and contracts – wait if possible.  Chances are if it is a good thing, it WILL wait for Venus to go direct, and if it is not, it will disappear by the time Venus goes direct.  It is all about timing sometimes!  Also – it is not recommended that you get married during a Venus retrograde, or if you do, chances are you need to re-work much in this relationship, or learn how to love, honor and value yourself in balance with the other.

Women

Venus also rules women, so we can keep this in mind when we may be approached with working out issues in this area.  While our mothers are the first women involved in our lives, mothers are usually ruled by the Moon and its sign, Cancer.  However, in our lives we often bring other women to us that have a similar resonation, so we sometimes end up handling our issues with women or female issues during Venus Retrograde times, whether it relates to invalidation, jealousy or other issues, including health problems (more below).

Money

When Venus goes retrograde, a strange thing happens – our vision with value is shaking out the bugs, so we may see things more skewed than usual without knowing it.  So, the best advice with money during this time?  Do NOT spend it on any big-ticket items, new or used, right now (and I wonder with this being in Gemini this time if it will be about computers, cell phones, or cars).  Chances are you will be more than disappointed at what you receive for the money and you may not be able to rectify your purchase, thereby you taking the “hit” or loss.   Even Astrologers are not immune to this, as I have watched over and over again thinking we can control the influences when they are at obvious odds with the natural cycle.  As an example, if your car breaks down and you need another car, do not buy one during this period.  Rent one, borrow one or take other transportation, as inconvenient as it is, until this period is over.  Something that looks like it is a good deal will not be – if it looks like it is, and it is real, it will wait until Venus goes direct, so schedule after June 27th to reexamine it.  If it is not available anymore, know in your heart it was likely not what you think it is.  If it is still available, then check it out further and make sure it is a good deal by then.  Again, contracts fit here, similar to how when Mercury is retrograde.  Since cash flow will slow down during this time, perhaps you won’t be able to buy that bad purchase anyway!

Values

This is actually related to relationships and money, and is the core of them both.  The idea of Value is the ability to assess and measure how important something is to you and if so, what means of exchange you see fit to obtain it.  We can apply this to relationships as well, since it is imperative that we value things similarly to how our partner values things.  We always hear about fights over money in a relationship, or religious strongholds, or other things where we wonder what we were thinking when choosing that partner.  We can be naive enough to choose a relationship because they like the same music as we do, but learn later that everything else they hold dear is a nightmare to us.  So during Venus Retrograde times, we get to learn about ourselves and what we truly value.  Our values can change over time, so it is important to reevaluate our principals.  Sometimes, things actually use more of our energy to own them than if we were free of them.  So it can be a good time to get rid of or sell things no longer valuable to you (although don’t think you can sell for top dollar at this time – the idea is to release and get rid of it, and if you think it is worth more to others, than wait and sell it when Venus is direct and perhaps during a waxing Moon as well).

Health

Undoubtedly, one of the things you can value is your health!  This is important for those with Venus afflictions natally, as well as Tauruses, Libras, and those with Venus, Taurus or Libra on the Ascendant or 6th house cusps (if you do not know your Astrology Charts, see Astrology Resources for free ones, or consider a Consultation).  As an example, Venus rules veins and in general has much to do with the kidney system, and for Tauruses, they also pay attention to the throat.  It can be important to use herbs to strengthen these systems, and knowing which herbs help your situation is ideal.  If you experience swelling of the ankles and dark under-eye circles, some kidney-type herbs can help (see my UTI post if you think it could help).  Some are ruled by Venus, like Plantain, Alfalfa, and Goldenrod.  Some have other planetary rulers that can assist or help:  Dandelion (Jupiter), Nettles (Mars), Parsley (Mercury), and Juniper Berries (Sun) are all good examples.  Along with these herbs, veins will do better when eating many berries with as much blue tint in them as you can find:  Blueberries, Elderberries, and even to a degree Blackberries, Thimble-berries, Huckleberries/Bilberries and other similar berries are wonderful for veins – and Turmeric (Jupiter) can help with circulation and inflammation issues as well.  Strong astringents like Oak (Sun) or even Sumac can help tone externally.  Throat stuff can be handled with Cherry Bark (Venus) and other plants in the Rose family (many ruled by Venus).  Yarrow, also ruled by Venus, is wonderful for many things, from stopping bleeding to menstrual discomforts to kidney issues and even throat, lung/respiratory stuff – it is bitter but makes you sweat and wrapping up after drinking hot yarrow tea and taking the hottest bath or shower you can stand, sleeping all night, can create much wellness the next day.  Mix with Goldenrod too – and this can help address allergies!  In many cases, you may wish to cut back on sugar (ruled by Venus) since it can complicate health issues when Venus is retrograde.   More information can be available by working with a knowledgeable herbalist.

Art

Because our values change during Venus Retrograde, so can our tastes (not just our physical taste but our aesthetic tastes as well).  While not usually a good time to make a big purchase of art (see “Money” above), it is a great time to explore alternative tastes that you haven’t gotten a chance to explore fully – especially if it is a style inspired by the past (retrograde is about going BACK sometimes).  Retro-styled art can be appreciated and when Venus goes direct, if you still find you like what you (re)discover, think about updating your art and your home environment to evolve with your refining tastes!

Beauty/Fashion

While the actual service fields of clothing and hair care, etcetera are ruled by Virgo, we can definitely see the Venusian influence of these fields.  Just as in Art above, exploring retro styles could be something that happens quite naturally during Venus Retrograde.  Trying things out now can work, as long as it is in budget and if your tastes change again when Venus goes direct, that you don’t mind trying something out for awhile.  Chances are that you may discover at least a couple things you like – and there ought to be a note with regard to hair and cosmetology.

Venus Retrograde can bring about us wanting to do something absolutely crazy with our hair.  Whether it is a radical change of cut or color, we can really feel sick of our old style where anything would seem like it could look better.  My advice?  Unless it is a hairstyle you had BEFORE and you know for a fact you enjoyed it, I caution to change it in a way that it could be changed back or grow out gracefully if it is Venus Retrograde.  Again, you may decide you utterly hate it after Venus goes direct, and if it is too hard to fix, it could be a real drag, since hair can grow more slowly than our tastes can change!

Some of you may be hairdressers that are reading this blog post.  It seems like all hairdressers need to know this information!  Since you are in a Venusian business, Venus Retrograde will be a natural part of your career, and knowing how to minimize dissatisfaction can be a crucial element to keeping your customers happy.  If people want “the usual” it usually isn’t a problem, but when they want something so different that it would be hard to fix, you may wish to advise a conservative version of what they seek so they can fix it later, and then after the date Venus goes direct (in this case, June 27th), they can go the rest of the way if they like what they already have, or be closer to a fix if they hate it.  Most of the time, unless it is like an old hairstyle they had before, they may not like it after all.  Then, they will think you are SO insightful on how you handled the whole thing and you can fix their hair.  If they insist during the retrograde on not having a fixable version, then do it and they will know it is their own choice and perhaps it is a spiritual lesson for them to deal with the consequences – maybe they will need to think things out further in the future.  This could also work well for Tattoo artists to do art conservatively during these times where it is fixable later.

It appears other Astrologers have similar viewpoints as I do – see LillianStar’s take on this Venus Rx and also Boots Hart’s post on Venus Rx and the Annular Solar Eclipse!

Mark your Calendars (and Charts)

For What Time of Venus Retrograde:  Check Zodiac Arts (set for US Pacific Time) and choose YOUR Time Zone!

April 2, 2012:  Venus is by Declination “Out of Bounds” in the Northern Latitude, adding Venusian “emphasis”

April 16, 2012:  Venus started its pre-retrograde “shadow” period before the retrograde at 7 degrees Gemini, bringing in information about issues that could flare up during the actual retrograde

May 15, 2012:  Venus goes Retrograde at 24 degrees Gemini

May 20, 2012Annular Solar Eclipse at 0 degrees Gemini (and found another viewpoint worthy of a look)

June 4, 2012Partial Lunar Eclipse at 14 degrees Sagittarius

June 5, 2012:  Rare Syzygy – Venus crosses Face of the Sun at 15 degrees Gemini and is also “back in bounds” by Declination

June 25, 2012:  Saturn goes Direct at 22 degrees Libra 46 minutes (a sign ruled by Venus, which is stationary now)

June 27, 2012:  Venus goes Direct at 7 degrees Gemini

August 1, 2012:  Venus leaves its post-retrograde “shadow” at 24 degrees Gemini, completing issues brought up during the retrograde

Summary

In any case, we ought to all have a pretty eventful Venus Retrograde, particularly when there are 2 eclipses in between!  Eclipses are known for revealing to us what was hidden or not known before – and sometimes that can be pretty shocking!  Knowing how to handle unexpected energies is the best way to lessen the stress.  Why do retrogrades often cause much stress?  Because sometimes we need a catalyst for change in certain areas, and change, despite our comfort levels, can be a very good thing!  May your 2012 Venus Retrograde experience allow you to reexamine what YOU value so your future choices can enrich your lives!

**Also, check out the 200+ comments here – from their content, you may find even more information that you seek!**

Thanks SO much for staying tuned via my Email List – so appreciated!

250 comments on “Venus Retrograde in Gemini from May 15-June 27, 2012

  1. This is very informative, on manifold levels. Not paying attention to the Venusian cycle, it was a small downer to realize (earlier this evening) that this Venus Rx is upon us (8| !!!) Now, having read this article, I feel well prepared to get through the without any major negative experiences.

    Well written! Thank you, LIsa!!!

    • You are MOST welcome Alyras! Indeed, the idea was empowerment, not “cowering” hehe! It is similar to a weather report, and grabbing the proverbial umbrella to shield from rain is better than being unprepared and getting soaked, right? ;-) Thank you for the comment today!

      • This is a tour de force, complete without being long-winded. Your writing about this was very enjoyable, and certainly encouraged me to make the most of this opportunity.
        Thanks for who you are, and your gifts to us
        Enjoy your Self Immensely,
        Albert Stephens

      • Oh Albert, do you even know how much I miss you?? I can’t thank you enough for stopping by my page today, and how did you know my goal was to be complete but not over-the-top? :-) I am humbled by your comments, since I regard you as a great astrologer! THANK you!!

  2. what a great info, at least now i know i would not let that Gemini back in my life till end of june if he can wait, or for that matter no one else from the past. i am a Sagittarian @17.43 degrees, w libra Moom and cusp rising, Uranus in Gemini, no no no way. Thank you

    • Hi Eva! I think you are on the right track with that decision, and that is saying that by the end of June that you would even WANT to at that stage hehe! Thanks for checking out my blog/website, it is so appreciated! :-)

  3. Your insight is not only valuable but commendable as well for last few days I hve been hawking on any information pertained to Venus retrogration but the info I have gathered here is lot more elaborative and comprehensible in lay man language.Since I have been though a hard time since March 2012 in my personal relationship with someone but as venus is gonna retrograde real soon It has kindle a hope in my heart that may I be able to abridge the rift that grown between me & my beloved.Once again I express my gratitude for sharing such a wonderful article

    • Your compliments are so very appreciated Saif! That was my goal when writing this post – practical “to-do” type stuff to help, rather than feeling at the mercy of the planet(s), or so esoteric that while beautiful, hard to apply! I wish you the best results possible with your relationship – whether you decide to stay or leave, the idea is for both of you to be empowered and in your truth. Thanks once again for stopping by! :-)

  4. WOW! I am a Leo with 4 degree Gemini
    Rising…Now I understand not only Why I have
    Choosen to end a relationship of 7 years,
    But Why in 2004 another 7 year relationship
    Had to End. Thank you

    • Wow, Laura – interesting indeed! Keep in mind that 7 years is also a quarter Saturn cycle as well, I bet there was some work involved the whole time. Since you are a Leo, for many years Neptune went through your solar 7th house, making it hard for relationships to “stick” for whatever reason (and we know all the Neptune themes too, with avoidance, drugs/alcohol, stuff like that) and the only Leos making it work had chosen relationships that are entirely their match, especially spiritually. Neptune is in Pisces now, and the last leg of Saturn in its exalted sign of Libra (ruling marriage and commitment in relationship) has helped some Leos at last find lasting love. I wish you the very best Laura, shine bright, love yourself first, learn how to receive in balance with all you give, and after Venus Rx, go for it!!

  5. I have venus retrograde in gemini in my solar return (birthday is next month). Not sure how it will play out …. *yikes*

    • Hi Melina! Yes, I have a few people in my life that their solar return occurs during this time (some have theirs right on a day of an eclipse or the Venus-crossing-the-Sun syzygy!). Rather than the imprint of this energy lasting only a little while, it will have an emphasis all year until your next return. The ways they live out are numerous, since we all have free will – but the energies are often similar to repeated themes over thousands of years. Study the themes above and wear your proverbial umbrella if you sense a storm. Forewarned is forearmed, right? Have a wonderful solar return Melina!

  6. I have never seen a Venus Retrograde dissected so thoroughly–usually everyone is worked up about Mercury Rx and pays no attention to the other planetary energies when they do the backwards boogie. Thank you!!

    • Ooooh (blushes) – THANKS so much Michelle for your kind comments on this. I love your email nickname too hehe! I find Venus and Mars both pretty dicey when they do their “Rx dance” if you will hehe! The themes for Mercury are indeed important, but I do feel the themes for Venus and Mars are just as important. These planets have a very personal effect on us when they go retrograde. The outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and for those who use it, Chiron) have very long retrograde cycles, but you don’t really feel them during the retrograde, or when they are direct. When do we feel those? When they are stationary getting ready to change direction!! It is good to mark your calendars for those changes, as you will see themes of these, especially if they hit a sensitive point in your chart. Also, as a Capricorn, I REALLY notice when Saturn changes direction – I feel it often in my body, it is like everything is “stagnant” and other people experience that too, since Saturn rules the material mundane plane. That is also another reason I included Saturn going direct in this post – that will be compounding Venus going direct as well! So awesome to have you stop by Michelle, thanks once again!

  7. my friend isnt talking to me since feb 16th. it was a small arguement but it turned out a big one. i tried to talk 2-3 times in march but she isnt ready to talk fr now. i apologised to her.m much frustrated. m a aquarian bday 11th feb n she a pieces bday 18th march.so will we be back together in this venus retrorage or no?? what should i do n wat should i expect frm her?

    • Hello Abhishek and thanks so much for tuning into my Venus Rx 2012 post! Of course I cannot say anything for sure, even if I were seeing your complete charts, but I find it odd that this happened after Saturn had went retrograde in Libra, the sign Venus rules. Saturn goes direct almost at the time Venus does, at the end of June. My advice is to try sincere contact ONE more time for resolution after that time (say, the first week of July). If your friend is still not interested in rectifying your relationship, then I would say you need to entirely let it go for good by then. Best of luck!!

  8. Great article! Glad I found your blog :) Bookmarking now….

    Anyway, wanted to add something! I am a Libra (Venus-ruled) and the shift in energy since yesterday has been alarming to say the least! I had a very wishy-washy romantic encounter on the night of the 14th and I woke up the morning of the 15th questioning my integrity. I plan to use this Venus Rx cycle to reconnect with my personal values and how I will uphold them in the face of romantic temptation. ALSO, I woke up today (16th) to receive papers ordering me to either pay off past debt immediately, or appear in court (back HOME in Denver — I live in NY) — the sum isn’t too large, fortunately, but I have been putting it off and off and off as I try to get my feet on the ground. I suppose this is Saturn at work as well.. Looking back at the dates of the last Venus Rx… that was such a rough time (it was the time I decided to move to NY). Keeping my fingers crossed for this round!

    • Thanks so much for stopping by my post, and glad it is helping you! In my experience, Libras spend their lifetime learning how to be genuinely themselves, and also learning balance. If it is attempted to balance everything else without balancing the self first, you can count on trouble. While Libra loves having a partner and the IDEA of love, they often don’t know the other person at all. Libra attempts to find themselves in other people but what can happen if this effort is not conscious is projection, both of desires as well as unowned problems. The secret is to know yourself deeply, and then to know value (self-value as well as value of others – and self-value actually comes first). Then, balance can be achieved. Grounding Saturn in your sign the last couple of years has helped many Libras to learn this and I have seen maturity and mastery in them. While your ruling planet is retrograde in Gemini, I would think learning things, whether it be study through reading, taking a class in-person or online in a topic you wish to develop yourself, would be most helpful. Visit art museums with your own eye, even if you are with others. Learn self-validation, instead of relying on others’ input all the time. And honestly, any of us could have made a similar “mistake” the last few days, you are forgiven haha! Also, I would totally pay that bill that is old news (baggage) and also save your money for creating a healthy foundation for the next forward cycle of Venus. You will be glad later that you did! Wishing you the very best of luck exploring yourself these next 6 weeks or so! It will help your partnership choices later too ;-)

  9. yes i’l try again…but shall i try it during the venus retrograde or not yet?? and yes it happend suddendly that time i didnt expect it from her. she s the best friend i hav since so long. but i fould out that i had made mistakes that must hav hurt her, but not that severe that it’l break off the friendship. ofcourse i let i go as she wasnt ready to talk. but she said to a friend of ours that she’l settle it with me wen she wants to….and if she doesnt want to she should atleast give me an explanation!!! M too much stressed out since feb n i m nt able to forget her…

    • Abhishek, my suggestion for the 1st week of July is indeed AFTER the Venus retrograde. Meanwhile, to curb your emotions and process them during this time, please consider using flower essences. It may be difficult to find the right one and it could be a good idea to see someone knowledgeable on this. If you wish to do your own research first, I have tons of resources available here: http://aartiana.wordpress.com/flower-essences/ – Look at the Bach Flower Remedies first, since many people have access to those around the world. It sounds like you need self-forgiveness but after looking at what each flower would gently teach you, you may wish to take the plunge and purchase a bottle you feel drawn to use. Rescue Remedy may help with anxiety temporarily while you go through this process. While you are healing with the flowers, the energy is also healing with your relationships (including her) – when you feel balanced, you can then approach and perhaps there will be more openness and love. Your efforts may be rewarded, but even if they are not, please know that you will feel better about it (i.e. validated) than you do currently. I wish you the very best!!

  10. Great post, lots of info. I was wondering, my wife wants to get out of her present job. She knows it is not right for her. To do this, part of the plan is to find a financial advisor to help her reinvest 401k’s that have been under previous employers. The question is, do you think it would be advisable to actually go through with this at this time, or just shop around, make plans and sign papers after June 27th? By the way she is a Taurus with Libra rising – the venus connection . Thanks for any help

    • The only way I would sign papers during a Venus Rx is if you already knew your Financial Advisor, and the “plan” was well in motion before the retrograde. If all of this is happening now, I would indeed wait – shop around and take your time, don’t be tempted by the “good deal” that asks you to commit before that time – know it is probably not a good deal after all. After June 27th, reevaluate your choices since you may change your mind on a few things. Then go ahead and sign (before the July Mercury Rx that is!) and not on a Void-of-Course Moon, which you can see on the ZodiacArts website that is linked in the article – best of luck Craig!!

  11. Wow. That is an amazing article!! I am also amazed at all these people, who should be paying you for readings for themselves personally. She’s worth it, people!!

    • Haha, thanks tons Giunfra! Lucky for me that Google just LOVES content, which increases its search engine rankings for this site! ;-)

  12. Just when Venus turned retrograde on 15th, I had this huge fight with my man. Am a cancer with pisces rising and he is capricorn with aquarius rising. I have my venus in taurus and he has his venus in sagittarius…I dont know if that adds up in any way. However, he definitely said a lot of ugly things. More than I could take. Being a cancer, I had tears and he said that he has no emotion for such dramas. It ended up hurting me bad, he never apologised and made it apparent that it doesn’t matter to him. This incident made me understand a lot of things, how I am making a fool of myself, going beyond my limits to help him. I know no one knows the situation here but it kinda is crazy. Don’t know, this must be the spot where we part ways. Got to see reality for what it is but. And yours is one great article. The best of all I read so far on the venus retrograde. Love and luck.

    • Just needed to know something…if people part ways during venus retrograde, do they hit reconciliation or fall in love again…something like that when venus goes direct again? Or whatever has to happen, will happen during the retrograde period only…separation, reconciliation whatever…does venus retrograde stir up an issue and then settle it during retrograde period only or settling it requires venus to go direct? Just out of astrological curiosity.

      • Thanks so much Mahvash for stopping by, I hope you continue to like future posts! The beginning of Venus retrograde periods are common for big snafus that bring a big-time reality check to your relationship, things you could ignore before. I don’t see your charts but what is revealed shows me that you have a higher sensitivity level than he does, and even in the best of circumstances, this is hard to make it work. I would also look at your Moon sign for your needs, and your Mars signs since you mention anger expression is an issue, so that you learn. I would also agree this will part ways and it seems to me that like many of us, we end up giving much energy to others, while not giving ourselves nearly enough. We never give too much, but it is important to give yourself the love and honor you deserve as a child of the Universe or the Great Creator, the All that is. When we balance this with others, we then attract the type of person we are. Thus, we would attract the person that also properly values themselves, and does so in balance with others. After releasing this situation, the next step is to get there and I cannot recommend flower essences highly enough to emotionally reeducate you. It is cheaper than therapy in my experience :-) It is a matter of choosing the right one(s), and I posted this for Abhishek in the comments on this thread, above. To answer your question, in the last two decades I have seen breakups happen during a Venus retrograde, the couple never reunites. A few of them can renew friendships if that base was already there strongly – but not once have I seen a couple ever try again. I won’t say there aren’t exceptions – I am just unaware of them. I hope this helps and in the meanwhile, let go of not only this unhealthy relationship but also the “stuff” that brought this to you so you can learn. I hope you find the right flower remedies and recover during this time!!

  13. I am not sure what to make of this …. on May 10 (shadow period) my friend called me to tell me she is able to take a guest to her company retreat in the Caribbean (fully paid for), and she is taking me. The trip is in July, still in the shadow period. Also, another “friend” of mine kept pushing me to invest into her weight loss MLM. I said “no”. Last year I did sign up with one of her other MLMs not realizing she would make a (massive) commission. Obviously the MLM tanked and I didn’t make a penny. Learned my lesson and politely told her “no” this time, and so she stopped talking to me altogether. 11 year friendship gone just like that. I have my natal Venus in 8th house Gemini.

  14. Melina, I think the trip should be OK, as long as there are no ties to MLM’s hehe! The shadow period can be the start of issues but they usually develop fully during the Rx. I wonder though if you will learn more about your friend than you realize, which isn’t a bad thing – just be aware of that. Have fun and get a tan for me ;-)

  15. Thank you so much for replying so personally. Actually due to some problems, we did contact a few astrologers. And to our sheer disbelief, all of them except for one, came up with the prediction that we probably are going to end up together. The first was our family astrologer who said that to me through palmistry and almost killed me with surprise. Ever since then, a lot has happened. And we both kinda made peace with the idea that we might have a future. Now I don’t know what to say, I guess I’ll just wait for life to unfold. My moon and mars both are in virgo and his moon is in leo and mars is in aries. Too much of water/earth and air/fire clash I guess. But now I dont even know if our charts are right, astrology thrives on difference of opinion may be. But in case you cannot be sure about anything without this…my birth time is 23:02 on 25.06.1993 in Calcutta, india.. His time is 08:04 on 27.12.1988 in Calcutta, India.

  16. Mahvash, I think it is important to mention I am not a Vedic Astrologer. I do know some things about Vedic technique but I know that many Vedic Astrologers, especially in India, use more of a predictive technique. While I can understand we only came in with so much wiggle room, I believe in empowerment of the client. While you are not my client, I can tell you what the energies are doing, but it is up to YOU as to what to do with them – I would hope the available information helps you make a more conscious choice that leads to a more desirable outcome, rather than just allowing things to happen to you and blaming the planets.

    I also believe that even though we have some things we may (hmm) “contract” to be or do before we are born, it is also my belief that even while we are alive, we have the ability to change those contracts sometimes. This is the old fate versus free will argument I guess, and I think it is as Rob Hand says: We often have already decided – what he meant is that we used free will to decide something before we come here (and it reflects often in the natal chart), but what we do when those things happen in our life is also our free will.

    Fate is basically the consequences of our free will we had exercised in the past, even if it was before we were born. The idea is to make the best decisions with what we have to work with, and some people have better-equipped tool boxes, or got dealt a better hand of cards to play. Still, you would be surprised at how much power you have by making better choices, even with less tools.

    What is my point? Even if someone is our “fate” – we can change our minds and choose something better if we want to do so – and feel empowered, validated and being encouraged to risk change. And who is to say that maybe the fated part was a lesson needed to learn all about valuing ourselves and then making choices that better match who we are? I wish both of you the very best, no matter what either of you decide!

    • I understand what you say. And I thank you wholeheartedly for the time you spent and the path you offered. Thank you really.

  17. Hi Lisa- I have been all over the Internet as well as visited two card readers/astrologers regarding the current Venus RX. Your blog is fantastic and I will be sure to recommend! I am having trouble, however, trying to find any recommendations for my BEING the ex-lover that would like to do the contacting. I require some closure in this past relationship so that’ve may move forward but is this a good time for me to attempt this? It’s been 3 yrs since any communication but I believe without this closure moving forward for me is all but impossible. I either want to fix what broke and work on a reconciliation or simply find the “why” so as not to repeat and move forward. Being a Scorpio w/Sagitarious rising I believe I’m supposed to “let go”. Do you have any thoughts on this?

    • Hello Stacie! I can completely understand this space you are in at this time! I will say that attempting closure should be fine now, but while you may wish for closure, the other person may be uncooperative with this process, or feel that they have tried and they are done trying. This doesn’t help YOU though. Letting go is essential no matter what happens. Again? I would look into processing the emotions with this closure with using flower essences. If it is a crisis (i.e. with anxiety, etc.) Rescue Remedy might work, but I would bet you need another (or a combination) to go deep and release this – find someone helpful nearby you with this if you can so you can choose the right one/formula. The essences help educate your emotional plane, and with integrating that education it allows you to then “frame” everything well, so that at least you are not confused. You learn what is for you to handle/correct in yourself, and also what to let go of – especially those things out of your control – and you CAN let go easily when there is understanding. If you do this during the retrograde, by the time Venus goes direct, you may be feeling very empowered (and relieved), ready to move forward with life! Links were mentioned in other comments above to start your research, and I wish you the very best!! Thanks for sharing my site to others in need!

  18. Hi Lisa
    Thank you for this rich and beautiful article!
    I am Libra rising cap, scorp mooner and mars cancer, who broke up with a Libra asc libra, gem mooner and Leo mars 2 years ago, after much drama. On Mercury RX last summer he attempted to get bck in touch with me. I refused all contact because I was scared. Now I feel like I am ready to reach out for an ultimate talking, but it wont be about the past, I do feel like we should still be in each other’s lives, because, simply I just cannot forget him. I have this urge to send him an email and see him, reunite with him, if only on a friendship level. It sounds corny but maybe it will help me move on from this “obsession” I have with him? I miss him in my life. What do you advise? Thank you :D

    • OMG just LOVE your blog by the way! :-) I do sense that there is some unfinished business here, or else you would have so moved on by now. I peaked around at the blog to discover that you are growing, really releasing fear of the unknown and allowing – but there is still some growth. I think it is wonderful that you are realizing through your chart your intensity of your other placements, which he may not understand fully – but that is OK. You now know you need this and I bet you also already know he can’t offer what it is you seek. Perhaps the only reason there is residual energy is due to your water placements and that you have not (yet) had something that close since this. You can certainly finish business during a Venus Rx, but starting anything old or new is not advisable right now – too much shift in values happening, for everyone. Again, I am thinking Flower Essences for you too, so you can more deeply yet gently process this whole thing and put it into proper perspective. He has a portion of what you seek in your partner, but the Libra side of you likely learned from your Scorpio Cancer, and Capricorn sides: you need it ALL, not just some. And you can have it all. Isn’t it remarkable how nearly every human alive compromises, thinking they must? This is emphasized for Libra of course. Think about this: Why would our divine creator place us here in perfect love and not provide ONE person that is the Omega’s Alpha, right? It may take awhile to find this, but part of it is finding and honoring our own perfect partner within ourselves. THAT brings the right life partner in the flesh, given enough time (and he has to be ready too, see why we end up waiting and then most people give up?) Flower essences will help you achieve this open state much sooner than otherwise, since it emotionally educates you gently and yet enough to really change your life. Scorpio Moons often need this education, since trust is usually the issue. Since you are already striking out for your identity and balancing that with Spirit, perhaps a support like Walnut essence will help distance yourself from old stuff that feels magnetic, pulling you back in. It allows you to cut off the junk, but in a loving way so you can move on. Other essences could help too but find someone knowledgeable to work with to find the others. Embrace your fear (and eat it!) – a part of you is nice, but a part of you is also fierce – own it! Know this about yourself and you will have more control over how it is expressed. I will stay tuned! :-)

  19. Lisa, omg, thank you so much for your incredible answer! So much to digest yet…you’re spot on.
    Thank you for saying you loved my blog! It means a lot :)
    you are right, I feel like there is unfinished business to because we always wanted to open our consciousness and that was what I wanted to do with him, not having an actual regular relationship. Unfortunately, I couldn’t take it anymore, due to betrayal, and he chose the wrong path eitherway. So I was cold as cold could be and cut through manipulation and left. But the unfinished business remains, because, yes i have not felt anything that deep yet, and I still want to explore my sense, the world, the immensity of our potential….and unconditional love, too. Would i be able to be simply his friend and let him go do the same thing he did to me to other girls… unsure…but i sure want to be able to at some point, not let the ego interfer anymore, and have him be a friend…. or we’re doomed to repeat the same patterns. Haha. I realize this is not the right time. I will wait till this whole retro is over. I also appreciate you giving me hints about the flower essence which I am not – yet – familiar with. Nuts seems to be good. I’d like to put this in the past..though there must be a reason it is still there. Whatever there is, I know I can do it all by myself and I do not need a man to make me feel sucessful at anything. Maybe that is the lesson to learn. Anyhow, your blog is extremely refreshing and full of positive vibes. I am enjoying reading it immensely. Take care Lisa, with Love & Light :)

    • Glad you liked my response to you hehe! :-) I will mention that even if you like actual walnuts (which is great for many things including our brains), the energy is slightly different than from that of the flower. It is worth the $15 or so to check it out. If you can’t locate in a store nearby, you can get them online, even via Amazon (I have some links I already found in my Amazon store if that helps you to make it easier, link on my Author page and other places). Walnut trees like to grow alone and have nothing else around, and they do this by a chemical they produce that goes in the soil that tells other plants to grow somewhere else! You are right that you cannot make decisions for others – even if you saw his potential for awakening, he has to decide to engage in that, and to make decisions that match that, and you can’t do that for him. He might later but that isn’t your concern. You are awake now and need one who is also awake now. It can happen! Keep me posted on your progress OK?

  20. Hi Lisa, this is the best explanation I’ve read on Venus retrograde so thank you! I am definitely feeling its effects and very confused. I’m a Scorpio w Virgo rising, Cancer moon and Venus in Virgo. I’ve been in a very intense relationship with a Cancer man (not sure his other planets) where we were about to get engaged and then he freaked out and we didn’t talk for a month (during Mercury retrograde actually). He came back to me end of April… I was hurt but JUST before VR (May 13) I finally got the courage to be vulnerable and let him know the extent of my feelings for him. That day we talked a lot and seemed to have worked things out (that he wanted to try again, but take it more slowly this time, and have a spring wedding). I was so happy. Not 2 days later – May 15 – I started feeling the VR. I went away for a week but he hasn’t initiated seeing me since I got back, even though before he said there was more we needed to talk about. So I am utterly confused – part of me wants to end the relationship because my heart can’t take being hurt anymore – but the other part feels like he is the love of my life and why am I rushing it. I don’t know whether to give him his space or to let him know I am there for him (since he has a huge fear of being hurt himself and rejection). What does this VR mean for me? You said within 5 days of the start is a clue for how the VR will express itself… does that mean that this man is worth being patient for? Or is the purpose of the VR for me to move on for once and for all?

    • Thank you for your compliments Carlie! In my observations over time when Venus is retrograde, a break-up or even a “break” or distancing usually does not bring a couple back together. I would let it go if I were you Carlie. The timing is too uncanny. Read through the comments thread here for suggestions of how to get through this time (since you are a Scorpio, consider Walnut flower essence, or with Cancer energy, consider Honeysuckle flower essence. The labels tell you what they are for and how the flower educates you emotionally). Once you fully process this and learn what you need to learn, a new relationship can then come in which matches better than a new relationship would if you did not process. I hope this makes sense to you – keep me posted and as a Scorpio, I hope you signed up for free updates – I will be writing about Saturn going into Scorpio this fall very soon, stay tuned!

  21. I am having a huge moral/value dilemma and it is driving me nuts. I met a man during the solar eclipse last Sunday. It was intense, he was intense. I got freaked out and backed off. He lied about his job and I found out and ended it within a few days. The reason I am having a moral dilemma is because I found out he is a security guard – that’s it. Is my ego so huge that I can’t consider being with someone who is a security guard? Or was I upset that he lied to me? I think that it has more to do with him being a security guard, which is why my reaction is so upsetting. If I meet someone who will love me and take care of me emotionally/mentally, then who cares about what kind of job he has? What are my values? What do I value?

    • Well, Melina, I guess you experienced first-hand the rather Gemini-themed issue of duality here, you likely earlier read this post to see this. And I agree – anyone that lies right away when meeting you is not worthy of further attention, period. What ELSE would they lie about? I am sure the fact he is a security guard, which by definition is “supposed” to be trustworthy, makes it all the more infuriating. But do I really have to tell you there are good security guards and bad security guards? Good police and bad police? Good priests and bad priests? Many who are in authority are in name or title only and it has nothing to do with their character – we must see for ourselves, and each person needs to earn your trust, rather than expect it. The timing alone, AGAIN, tells me your intuition was likely smarter than your head was and your reaction was appropriate. A false sense of security, no matter what society says, is not a good enough reason to attempt to pursue this, and maybe part of this is about lying to ourselves because compromise sometimes looks better (easier) than developing love and care of the self. Honestly, you deserve more.

  22. Hi again Lisa- I know you’ve advised NO RELATIONSHIP STARTING during Venus RX…. However, an ex has come back. Someone whom I loved deeply, we both loved each other deeply… Our reasons for breaking up had nothing to do with our relationship which was amazing in every way! He has family health issues that he had to tend to among a few other outside forces. We have both waited years to get back in touch and we are now! Other sites have said it is okay to re-visit relationships like this that Venus RX is all about “Re” re-visit, re-vize, re-learn, re-connect…. Are you saying this relationship is absolutely doomed and I shouldn’t even bother???

    • The timing is indeed odd if there were no problems before. While it could be good to reconnect, I would not think everything was solidified until after the retrograde. Watch what happens, since things may change one last time at that point. Then go forward. This way you can be on the safe side and I am sure my readers would love to hear what happens here – perhaps others have similar happenings. Keep us posted.

  23. “While it is fair to say all of us will be affected on one level or another, people with the Sun, Moon or personal planets (Mercury, Venus or Mars), or the Angles (i.e. Ascendant, Midheaven, etc.) between 7 and 24 degrees Gemini, Sagittarius, Virgo or Pisces will feel this time period the most.”

    OMG! Now I’m so afraid of this transit, I don’t want past lovers, I don’t want any lessons, I don’t believe in love for so many years…
    But I’m Sun/Moon Gemini, Asc Virgo with Mercury & Saturn in Gemini, Pluto in Virgo, Neptune in Saggitarius…

    Thanks for warning, dear Lisa, I should be very careful during this period…

    • It is understood Vedrana! Forewarned is forearmed, right? When we use astrology as a tool for our lives, we realize what choices we have so we can make the best ones for more desirable outcomes. If the weather forecast said rain, you would dress appropriately and bring your umbrella, rather than wearing shorts, tank top and sandals! Think of this advice as your umbrella that you may use if the situation arises. I can’t make it stop raining (well, that is another topic for another day haha!) But we can weather the rain well and sometimes get through pretty unscathed!

  24. Wow, that’s quite an amalgamation of astro info there! :-) I did these very long and detailed explorations on my old blog but I’ve taken to short quips these days. I’m very thankful you’ve done a nice long Venus Rx post and laid it all out along with gracious shout-out’s to colleagues. May your Venus Rx be golden.

    • Oh thanks SO much Abella! :-) And so far, Venus Rx has been pretty OK for me! Honestly, looking forward to the eclipse on the 4th and the rare transit with the Sun on the 5th as I feel like closure will happen in some regards that actually rather need it. Positive movement forward is always nice! ;-)

  25. Before Venus Rx I was making excuses as to why I shouldn’t or couldn’t move forward in my new relationship (we started dating at the beginning of the year). Now, all of them seem really silly (e.g. not liking the same tv shows or not making over a certain amount of money- $50k instead of $100k).
    Also, my exes keep contacting me and reminding me why I dumped them- major problems with them.
    The “new guy” has his issues but I’d rather his issues than my exes’. He’s a great guy overall & treats me better than anyone I’ve ever dated so why am I picking? Your article was on point and I appreciate the ease with which you explain the retrograde.

    • Well, Maria – it sounds like you are doing the right thing with Venus retrograde – reevaluating your VALUES!! Superficial values that society tells us are values are not values, they are dogma! We each must arrive at our own assessment of what is important to us. The gauge of this is often our feelings of pleasure and pain when we are really paying attention! Continue to reprocess what it is you value and what it is you believe in, not only for partners but for yourself. Glad you liked my post and that inspires you toward a higher standard of value than before! :-)

      • I wanted to update and maybe get your opinion. My ex, who is a Cancer like my current guy, got in touch w/me during the VRx. They’re a couple days apart. They’ve been acting similar this whole time (super scary) and now that Venus went direct they’re both silent. It’s almost like they’re in cahoots and playing with me! I know exactly what I want now as far as relationship goes, but I’m feeling torn between the two and even thinking about just leaving them both alone. I’m an Aqua baby but there’s no logical thought in sight. Maybe it has to do with my Gemini moon?

      • Hey Maria – in my observation during this Venus retrograde, Cancers have taken it HARD. Even the ones without Gemini placements. So either it could have been operational from antiscia aspect, or because Gemini is the 12th house from Cancer – or the house of release and letting go. Sometimes the letting go was literal and in their face, and sometimes it was subtle – like an idea they clung to that clearly wasn’t working over a long time and during this time period it got so bad it was jerked out (and keep in mind we also had those eclipses as well). I hope in the next couple of days that both of them can regroup, but if you are indeed an Aquarius, I would think Cancer as a partner could be very difficult. They live in feeling and security, you live in your mind and love freedom – and neither of you like to change what you are (i.e. the flexibility factor isn’t really built in with this combination). Unless either of you have placements that compensate in a beneficial way, how is this even working even when Venus is direct? I am happy you know what you want now – keep us posted OK?

  26. Aloha!
    Your article came at a good time for myself and my relationship with a wonderful man I met in January.
    I was born 10/17/73 10:30 pm in San Francisco, he was born 10/02/70 at 12pm in Honolulu Hawaii.
    We have had the most wonderful relationship until this Venus Retrograde. 2 disagreements/discussions have tried to steal the love, joy, bliss we have consistently had. I have seriously considered contacting my absent father, ex-husband, and past loves to rectify a pattern I have seen with my current partner who is normally so in tune, loving and sweet-who now at times is repulsed by US and our communications, blaming me for being negative, nit picky.
    Help! I’m in love and welcome your knowledgeable insights.
    Mahalo

    • Hello there Andrea! Interesting that both of you are Libras and this is your first Venus (ruling planet) Rx experience as a couple (and Saturn has also been beating you guys up for a couple of years hehe). I cannot predict the outcome, but I can tell you that BOTH of you need to re-e-value-ate your VALUES. Hard for Libras I know but it is a must. At least it is trining your sign (Gemini and Libra are air signs and in good aspect with each other) so I do hope you can come to good ground together. I wish you a bit of luck during this trying time but some work needs to be done ;-) Keep us posted OK?

  27. Libras are going through an earthquake right now values-wise. It’s a bit like the hanged one in the Tarot. We need to be upside down and re-evaluate everything! Thank you Lisa for your wonderful blog. I was just passing through to say hi, can’t wait to see what happens on June5/6. :) Take care x

    • Hey there! :-) Thanks again for stopping by, it will indeed be interesting to see what happens individually and collectively during the rare Venus Transit!!

  28. Lisa, thank you so much for the information. I have been perusing sites trying to find an answer to how this Venus retrograde is affecting my relationship. I am Libra, Cancer moon, Cancer rising, and he is Virgo, Capricorn moon. We started seeing each other in March, He is married. He loves his wife. We didn’t plan on falling in love, but we did. Please don’t judge. I have beat myself up enough.

    Things have been wonderful, but I told him he needed to talk to his wife and see if they could resolve their issues. Of course, I was hoping she would not be able to step up to the plate and that we could be together, but that’s not what happened. She is making an effort and really trying to be more affectionate, and he started really pulling away from me on May 18. Today he told me he has decided he has too much time invested in his marriage to throw it away without putting 100% effort into it.

    Although she is not aware of our affair, she did read a message I sent him last month, which was very benign, and today she sent me a message telling me to quit messing with her marriage and leave her husband alone. He has denied anything to her, but she thinks I am after him because of the message I sent. So if I am reading your comments right. This is not a decision he will likely reverse after the retrograde?

    • Hello Randomheart, and thanks so much for your comments! I am not into judgment here, I am into empowerment which is an entirely different energy. To answer your question, indeed I would say it looks like it is permanently over. I can only imagine your pain – have you tried processing this release with a flower essence? The “Saturn in Libra” article here mentions Bleeding Heart essence in helping overcome the pain of break-ups. The idea is self-care here, and inspiring self-love. When you have the self-love part learned, and you truly become “available” for love, I hope you change your energy to attract in the future someone who is equally available. No matter what method you choose to process this hurt, the idea is to not repeat this pattern later. It is not empowering to be involved with a person whose devotion is not entirely for you when it is what you offer. You are right that love just happens, but we can make decisions about our life partners and have an idea of what we seek and what is not acceptable for us. No matter what, love yourself even more. While your heart feels broken – please remember it is now broken OPEN – open it even further and know it is not really possible to love too much – but to love yourself too little. You are worthy and deserving of a beautiful life and I hope you find a better match down the road (after June 28th this year at least) :-)

  29. This is such a great read and very informative! I’m curious to find out what it means to have come back into contact with someone from 2004 – we never dated but are now it only started towards the end of April and we share the same bday – May 21. I always liked him but never took in any further in the past. I can’t tell where it is going to go though

    • Hello Nicole, and thanks for the blog comments! :-) VERY interesting about the 2004 contact, as Venus was Rx in Gemini back then, and both of you are VERY early Geminis! I would also think that May 20, 2012 Annular Solar Eclipse hit both of you on your Suns, revealing what you didn’t know before. Maybe there was an awareness in 2004 that is progressing now, or maybe it is for completion. That would be entirely up to you and/or up to him, but for now, I say see how it unfolds! Thanks for sharing your experience.

      • Hi Lisa, so far it has been a diffucult time for us but I’m hoping that after the 27th June we will be able to clear up misunderstandings, he seems unable to talk about his feelings but he hasn’t completely pushed me away. I’m always impatient in relationships due to the fact I’ve been single for 7 years it would be nice if it actually worked out this time. I seem to always get my hopes up but I go for emotionally unavailable people! I would like to think that I am ready for a relationship but these couple of weeks are not the right time to start anything! He has maintained that we are still friends but he doesn’t want to talk about things right now, after some things I said.
        I have also been looking for a new job since the 28th May and I am patiently hoping for the right opportunity to come my way, recruiters seem to neglect me and not return my calls or emails! I’m hoping that everything will turn around in the next few weeks and it has giving me time to reflect and evaluate what I really want. It is meant to be a good time for Geminis right?!

      • Indeed, Jupiter (planet of opportunities) is now in Gemini and will be for about a year. When it gets to Cancer, I think it is even better since (a) it is exalted and (b) that is Gemini’s 2nd house (money) :-) So you have a couple years the way I see it hehe! Sorry the Venus Rx has been so hard on you but you may wish to find a healer to help you clear the pattern of finding unavailable relationships if you truly wish to be available. Sort of like removing the “kick me” sign from your back, right? Things will get better for you, I believe ;-)

  30. Hi there, 19/5/1990 , I’m Sun/Mercury Taurus, Pisces Moon/Ascendant/Mars, Venus Aries. There’s a guy I met back in 2004 (not friends, didn’t like each other) but have been talking to each other on and off since July 2010. He’s Sagitarrius 15/12/1985.Early April we started talking more than usual and had planned to meet up. We began talking more frequently, until a month later when he broke up with his GF on the 9th May. Since then we’ve been talking for hours every day and have hung out doing a gym class together a few times, which is now a regular thing. The problem is I’m gay, and he’s confused/curious/bisexual (god only knows). We’ve talked about him wanting to maybe ‘experiment’ with me (talk of which began in 2010 but wasn’t brought up in conversation again until April) but no direct answers He’s told me to drop the subject repeatedly and tell me nothing is for sure. We’ve developed deeper communication and I know we’re more friends now than we were 4 weeks ago, He even told his counsellor that I’m his only friend, which I think I am. I’m deeply attracted to him though and would love to see this go further (in good time, if its meant to be), and if not Im happy to just be his friend and nothing more. But does it look like he may be want this to go further, or am I mistaking genuine mutual attraction for just plain old friendship with a bit of sexual confusion thrown in because of the retrograde??? Thankyou if you can provide some advice :) I really appreciate it! Love & Light

    • Hey there TC, thanks for stopping by! Weirdly, and this is not entirely based on astrology – I am just not “feeling it” past any (hmm) “experimental” phase. It doesn’t feel right, and on the astrological side, the fact this potential change of your relationship is surfacing during this time of when our values are getting shaken up and changed, and everything will change AGAIN after June 27th. While I believe you may have a valuable friendship, my feeling is that both of you need different partners that more closely match your needs. I hope this makes sense to you and I hope you decide to sign up for additional updates here, keep us posted OK? :-)

  31. My husband and I (both Cancers) made an offer on a home that was accepted on April 10, 2012. Due to loan complications, the original closing date was extended to May 10 and signed on May 1st. A later complication forced an extension of closing date to June 18th and this was signed by both parties on May 22. I believe that since we signed the original offer before Venus went retrograde, we are now just experiencing the delays that planet presents during retrograde. However, I wonder (and worry) that the May 22 signing trumps our original offer signing that occurred prior to the Venus retrograde period. I would appreciate your comments.

    • I would say that the original contract date would be in effect (providing it still regards the same property), but if the terms changed when things happened, you may find a more beneficial situation in a future refinance at a later date. Something similar happened to one of my friends and inadvertently refinancing during a Venus Rx and the original terms she wished for years prior were restored. I also noticed the original date, Pluto went Rx and wondered if there is some type of Pluto-themed nature to the property (just interesting to consider). Good luck with your home purchase!

      • Hi Lisa,
        Thanks so much for your response. In fact, we will be doing a refinance once we are moved in, but will wait until Venus is direct of course. I’m very interested in knowing how Pluto rx plays into this whole issue – could it possibly have something to do with the fact that my husband and I are looking forward to having more control over our own home after living in a condo for years?

  32. …quite helfpul/insightful indeed. as one w. a venus in gemini in the 7th house~i’ve kinda wondered what has been going on. my relationship of 17 years w. the love of my life has hit some serious shoals and i’ve even considered leaving him…a breech of trust occurred so deep for me. we’re still talking but i simply do not trust him or feel safe around him. just riding the waves; crying alot, praying not for any particular results other than healing…he on the other hand is doing deep inner work and is walking around raw as a new born babe. we’re taking it one day at a time.

    • Oh wow, indeed Venus Rx stuff for you! I am glad that despite the breakage of trust that both of you can do the deep work this requires to save your relationship. It may help you for your processing to at least know your process, and I am happy I can help! Astrology can represent the “weather” of what is going on, but only we can decide what to do with it. Stormy times require umbrellas and sometimes more :-)

  33. All of this makes total sense. I (October 22, 1974) (Libra) have been getting more and more frustrated in my relationship with my boyfriend of 3.5 years. He seems to be dragging his feet in regards to marriage, and avoids th subject at all costs. Finally on June 1st, I lost it evrything bottled up just purged out. I ended up leaving his house leaving the key telling him I couldn’t do it anymore. His birthday is June 5 (1968) (Gemini) if that makes a differece, which I find is crazy since that is the day of the Venus Transit. Anyways it is June 8th, and I still have not heard from him. I know he loves me, and we have been through so much these past years, and have stuck together. His family says they have Never seen him this happy with anyone before, and they all say I have made him a better man. I hope we can work through all this. I hope this silence is him internalizing, and figuring out what he wants. And not that he is done. I know I am not done, I just wanted to wake him up, and let him know things have to change.

    • I hope it can work out too. I do not know him but some Geminis I have seen will let everything crumble and fall to the ground, even if everything is good (heck, even if it is perfect). Whether it has to do with self-esteem, whether it has to do with feeling the pain of losing you now versus losing you later when he would be more comfortable is too unnerving, or whether it has to do with a false sense that they are not deserving and worthy of something wonderful, I cannot tell you. Some Geminis actually do wake up and figure it out, and I do hope for both of your sakes he could be one of them. You may need to see what happens after the retrograde but I would be prepared to move on just in case by then. Until then I think you have done the right thing, good for you – honor yourself and love yourself first, hard for a Libra often, I think this is really great, you deserve an available partner. Nearly all the time, when good communications are happening, people know after a year or so what it is they seek and if the person meets those needs and wishes. I really do hope things work out! :-)

      • Well, we talked last Friday. (we bothe were MISERABLE apart) He told me that he knows that I am the one, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. The reasons for not discussing before is because his business is really struggling (he has allways been really successful, and the economy is so bad, business in danger of closing) and he has been battling in court with his ex. He wants to be a man and provide for a family, and now he feels like he cannot do that. (Male pride) He also wants to be able to buy me the beautiful ring I deserve, and again that is not possible at this moment. He wants to wait a little until he is in a better position. I totally get that. And he has allways been a man of his word. If he says he is going to do something he will :) I feel that our relationship is stronger, and we are communicating better now, I am happy ;)

      • Wow, that is GREAT!! See all the difference that communication can make? Yes, I can understand those things too but I guess he thought he had to fix all of his issues alone (like his cash flow) rather than work on them together, and this is a common misconception in our society – no one would ever be in a relationship if we had to fix ALL of our problems first, right? I am glad he is admitting his human side which may seem like weakness but it is actually a strength to be vulnerable sometimes. Best of luck to both of you Dana! :-)

  34. Lisa, I asked you a question bout my ex, but during this retro, I dumped my long distance bf, and lately say the facade on my manipulative colleague sorta crumbled down…. She delegated all her work to me. Bosses reminded me of inquisitors when they told me I would get to do her work on top of mine. It was last week. I felt devastated. Her job is one thing, but the betrayal, her manipulative ways managed to blind my two males bosses…. Now it results in me looking for another job… and I loved this one…but I just cant tolerate being treated as if my work was for granted you know? So my questions are…. Venus retro = facade of powerful arrogant people finally exposed? Does Venus retro mean I can no longer pretend I’m okay with my work when it involves such a shallow hierarchy? Does Venus retro 2012 actually mean reclaiming my power through having my life crumbling down COMPLETELY? I mean… I had to dump my sweet bf because distance was frustrating and now this job issue… What is this telling me? That I’ve been lying to myself ever since?…..I wonder if people around here have the same kinda predicament… One day you have it all and the next day… Like the Tower card in the tarot, it’s all crumbling apart in ways you could not even imagine 2 days earlier… Very frustrating. I’m doubting, I’m kind of lost…. But deep down, I wonder if the ultimate message is… Let go of all lies, start fresh, be true to yourself, use your inner power vs their reptilian power. What do you think? Blessings, Lisa darling.

    • Oh girl, sorry you are having such a tumultuous time, but rest assured, many of my clients are indeed having similar revelations in their lives at this point. Please use the affirmation that you will be valued in your work situation. Speak in ways that are gentle and yet firm, telling your truth, and allow spirit to provide the right words. You will then begin to create that type of energy and respect around you. So, one of a few things will happen. Either they will begin to properly respect you, they will move onto a new position, or you will move onto a new position – any of these help ATTRACT what you seek, which is to be fully valued and respected at work. If the last one happens, please know the door is open to you somewhere to find what you seek, release fear around that (even if you need Rescue Remedy, right?). As for your relationship, geography is one of the best things we do to ourselves to make ourselves unavailable in a relationship (I mean long-term long-distance here). It is good that you realize this and that you have decided you want more and that in order to have more, you must become more available. Good for you! :-) Thanks for keeping me posted, and others here! I have been told by many that the comments thread on this Venus Retrograde post are very informative indeed!

  35. - My bf and I meet in March (15th). Unfortunately on June 1st we ended thing due to his job. He has to travel for the next 8 weeks straight. I’m crossing my fingers that after the RX we can get back together. He is a Capricorn 12/26/70 and I ‘m an Aries 4/19/71. What does August have in store for us?

    • So you get to live out Venus Rx while he is away, and then some! If neither of you have found anyone by then (and I am not feeling it, most likely due to the retrograde), August could be good. During this time, I hope both of you become clear about what you want in a partner, since this can only benefit both of you. Best of luck Bella!

  36. Hi Lisa, great post. I wanted to share that I probably believe this affects me. I am Aries Sun/ Libra Moon/ Taurus Venus/ Aries Mars, and was going out with a Taurus Sun/ Sagittarius Moon/ Aries Venus/ Gemini Mars guy for 2-3 months. We have great chemistry and things were going really great.. Then… Both of ex’es started coming into contact from week of 28th May, and this was the week he suddenly felt like he was not in control of his emotions/feelings. We had subsequent conversations later, and at one point he changed his mind and wanted things back together.. However thereafter, he went on to tell his ex that he is single now, of which I found out. We talked again and he commented that he doesn’t feel that it is the right time for a relationship now/ does not feel as though I am the one for him.. He feels like he wants to be with me and at the same time does not want to be with me.. At the end, he said that his mind is not stable to make a decision.. He feels he needs some time to calm his mind, etc.. and maybe later see how things goes.. Do you think it is because of Venus Rx? I guess so right… I am still hoping for things to change for the better after 27th June… But reading your comments, it does not seem like things will work out after right?

    • Hi AriesGal! I would definitely say you are affected by this transit! I would believe him, this transit is shaking up all of our values and he may be in a space of a proverbial emotional “mess” that needs to be cleaned up and only he can do it, it is likely best he do it on his own. Allow him his space to go through this process, since he really needs to sort out why the exes didn’t work out in the first place (and yes, they most likely will not work out again). I think by the end of June or early July he may have figured it out. In the meantime, you can decide what your values are since it is not a good time to find new relationships anyway. You have nothing to lose by staying out of the way, and you have time to explore your own stuff too. This should make it stronger if both of you decide to try it again – after the retrograde! Good luck!

  37. Wow, love your indepth account of Venus retrograde. I havent seen it in so much detail before especially as I have it natally at 21 deg Gemini but have never really been sure how I feel it’s effects and have searched the net far and wide. Anyway, I met someone online and started talking by phone and text to him everyday since late February but had never met face to face until 27 May after Venus turned retrograde and he sent me the fare to fly to Florida to visit him (I am based in London). By most accounts I have read it is not until the you meet the person physically that the relationship is deemed to have truelly began (is that correct?). After reading about not starting a relationship in Venus retro and so on I have become a little paranoid that things won’t work out, even though things are good so far so far. Your thoughts on this would be most welcome. Thanks in advance, Jennifer

    • Thanks Jennifer! Indeed, I have been told by so many people that this is the best Venus Retrograde 2012 article or blog post on the web, pretty exciting! I would count the relationship for February, especially if the intent of the relationship has always been more than friends. But I would bet your physical meeting during the retrograde might have had a few surprises. Don’t write it off entirely as of yet – perhaps a physical meeting when Venus is direct is the next step in order (and try to avoid Mercury retrogrades too this time – see the “Zodiac Arts” link on my Astrology page to find those periods). One of the things to figure out is your geographical/location issue and if it is a real relationship, a solution would show itself so that you both can be in the same space. When Venus goes direct, unless another captures either of your attentions that would seem like a better fit, I would try this one more time when planets are forward in motion. Keep us posted!

  38. Thanks for your reponse Lisa, I had forgotten to add that my 21deg Gem is actually natally Rx. In Feb he was very clear his intent was for a relationship to develop although I had stated I wanted to start as a friendship and see what unfolds. We are still talking everyday and we are meeting again in Jamaica on 1 Aug. OH NO!! I have just checked and Mercury will be Rx !!! Venus will be direct at that point and still conjunct my natal Rx venus. Oh Lisa, What now?? Yours in dilemna Jen

    • Lisa, not sure whether this makes any difference but my dob is July 3 1964 and he is Dec 15 1964. So could these retrogrades point to much consideration and taking it slow? We’re still going through the process. Thanks for your time J

      • Perhaps your trip will last until August 8th when Mercury goes direct? Maybe you guys just have some stuff to work out with this relationship, and with you having a natal placement, with relationships in general. I will not say it is doomed but apparently some stuff needs to be dealt with first. That is a process I cannot do for you, but perhaps when it is all done, scheduling a forward movement time for the next event could be in order! Also, check to see if your Venus is now direct by secondary progression (on Astro.com) and also if it has crossed its original placement. That could help make things a bit better. Hope all goes well Jen!

  39. Lisa,
    I wrote a few weeks ago about a man I met during the May 20th eclipse who lied about his job. Turns out he was not lying and was being honest. We are continuing to date but I am taking things very slow. It’s been nearly a month. It’s my birthday on Saturday and we are spending the day together. I am not sure how this venus retrograde is affecting me. It’s making me question my values a lot and think with my head – not with my heart like in the past. We have seen each other 4 times since our first meeting …. he seems very confident in his feelings whereas I am the one holding back.

    • I think being cautious is still a good idea, and if you manage to make it to early July, perhaps it would be time to open up more by then. See what happens Melina!

      • Today is my birthday. He dumped me today via text message on my birthday. This seems to be the story of my life. I didn’t give him the reaction he expected or wanted when he told me, quite casually over the phone, that he had three heart attacks at the age of 37 and had bypass operation. I was in complete shock, which he took as selfishness = in other words, I would divorce him if he was ever ill. OK then!!!!

        This happened to me last year too. Dumped on my birthday with a text message.

        Wow.

      • OMG Melina, I am very sorry to hear this!! :-( Please take some time to heal from this, and since it happened more than once, I think I would seek a healer that can remove that “imprint” so you don’t keep having similar events happen. Please feel good that you deserve a wonderful relationship, but it first must be with yourself. Whether he feels deserving of one is really up to him and it is also sad he feels undeserving and doesn’t see he can have power over his health if he worked on the issues. My thoughts are with you!

      • I feel hurt and humiliated and he was very indifferent about the fact that it is my birthday and he did this to me, deliberately, knowing it is my birthday and even said, “I did nothing wrong”. i don’t know why I attract these kinds of men into my life. I rarely date. Last year, it was with a man who I had strong attraction and chemistry with …. this year, this man was someone different. The kind I would never go for. I gave him a chance thinking he would be different but he treated me the same way.

        I want this “imprint” gone. I haven’t cried in a long time but tonight, I can feel the tears in my eyes. All i wanted was someone who will treat me good and with respect.

  40. Thanks for your kind response Lisa! Yeah it seems like his ex wants to talk more and get back. And he seems to give the impression he wants to get back together as well (they ended cos she cheated on him). I’m guessing they would get back during this period? What do you think based on this? I keep thinking what’s going through is mind, but I guess like you’ve said it’s time to think of me.. What would you advise would normally happen during post venus retrograde?

    I’ve also got friends of friends who are Taurus having relationship issues and/or ending long term relationships. And bought like a car as well! It’s a crazy period I must say!

    Btw, if I wanted a consultation about a couple of things, how is it managed by email?

    • I do not know what he will decide, that is free will – I only know that via the timing of all of this, by the end of June it will likely not be an issue anymore. Keep in mind that he will remember why – I would imagine his guard is high but he maybe still has some questions about stuff. As for Email Consultations, I get the information you want to speak about, as well as all birth info that is available ahead of time. I usually have a 3-day turnaround, not counting weekends. The more specific you can make your question(s), the better I can answer them. There is a one-month follow-up to make sure things are on the right track (and it works this way for the health issues as well). If there are new issues, or if the issue is so deep it needs continual attention, that would account for more reading time. I hope that makes sense! :-) http://aartiana.wordpress.com/consultations/

  41. Hey Lisa, I’m a Taurus w/my Venus in Gemini. What does this Venus retrograde mean for me, as well as Jupiter’s transit moving into Gemini?

    • Hello Jennifer! I would say you will have some emphasis in feeling this Venus Retrograde in Gemini. Indeed, Jupiter just barely entered Gemini (tropically) and while it can add openness for opportunity, it can also add attention – i.e. “too much” – hope the Venus Rx is going OK for you!

  42. This is SO interesting. I’ve had it tough since I met this guy last September. It’s long distance but he seemed eager to want to date me, I say long distance, it’s just over an hour by train… Anyway, I’m a Pisces, he is a libra. I’ve got the mars retrograde in my 7th house of paternerships which I cannot wait for mars to finally be done with all of that on July 3rd and now a Venurs rx!! It’s been battle after battle. However, now it’s really taking its toll. We’re talking little to no contact, I’ll confront him and say what’s wrong, he will make his excuses and say things are fine but then he is MIA again! I even asked to meet up with him next week as I’m in the area for work and he has just ignored me, which is childish for 27 year old.. I guess this Venus rx has made me think about what I value, HONESTY and RESPECT. Something which I feel is lacking at the moment. If he wants a break up well he can do the dirty work so to speak.

    I also felt like something was fated. The eclipse also happened in my house of career on June 4. It was the jubilee weekend here in the UK so nothing came about on that day, however, and I dont know whether to look at this as either fate or just coincidence, I am currently looking for a new job and after not getting anywhere (coming 2nd in interviews, or no interviews at all) I applied for my perfect job! Then later found out its located at the hospital he works at… No jobs in my speciality have come up in that hospital for a LONG time yet 2 positions have suddenly come up after the eclipse! It’ll be hard to work in the same place as him should inget the job if we finally part ways.. I know Venus rx isn’t fab for relationships and looking how mines going it’ll probably end before it goes direct but I find the work situation very odd.. I can understand his feeling of “where will we be going” when we aren’t in the same cities, but if I have a shot at being in the same city I feel like something could come out of it…

    My d.o.b 19-3-1988, his d.o.b 8-10-1984

    • Oh PiscesGirl, that is such a drag – sorry to hear you have had so many challenges. So, since it is coming up on a year, had the geographical issue between you two worked out yet? It should start to work by now if this relationship is really in the realm of availability. If it isn’t changing to come together, then maybe neither of you were really available (or at least one of you). It seems your efforts are working but now the test is “on” it seems.

      We often use geography as a “cloak” if we are not really ready for a real relationship, but cannot admit it to ourselves. While I am feeling that you could be really ready, I am picking up he is not (and it has nothing to do with you). So while you are reevaluating your values, put somewhere on that list that you and he (whoever he is) must be truly available – and that means geographically too. I understand if it is a distance issue at first, but if things are not developing toward resolution within a year, something is not right. If you end up in his area and he gets weird anyway, perhaps your partner IS in the new space, so be prepared for unexpected, bumpy but maybe eventually great things to unfold. Hang in there girl!

      • Thank you so much Lisa. We hadn’t talked about the geographical issue, it was always the big elephant in the room so to speak. We also never defined our relationship or talked about where we were going either. I guess we can’t really say we were a proper girlfriend/boyfriend, just still in the dating stages.

        He’s a doctor so career is not only important to him but eats away at his time. Long distance isn’t easy. He made the effort at the start of the “honeymoond period” that i liked to call it, but once he started taking his post grad exams in January – march, and saying that now he passed them he is being expected more of (if that makes sense), it was getting harder to see him, but that doesn’t stop him from communicating and I’ve told him that but yuuuup it makes no blind bit of difference. I feel he may want to be the nice guy and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings or maybe feels he doesn’t have to say anything sincewe were officially defined. Either way frustrating when you try to get answers, give him bait and h doesn’t bite! He hasn’t yet replied to my text about meeting up, he has never ignored me before and so I guess actions speak louder than words, and if he is playing the field then i feel sorry for whoever else is involved. I fear he may have met someone new but since Venus is in Rx that might not neccessarily be a good thing for him, I know you said starting a relationship isn’t desired, but I always find that the one who leaves me is always successful in finding a new partner very quickly and I am left single for a year or more. Very frustrating as I want closure but feel I can’t get that and hurt that he chooses to show his feelings by full out ignoring me – never met a man like that before, and since i was introduced to him by a mutual friend (who interestingly i fell out with and haven’t spoken to since early march) I thought he would be a bit more careful about things. I guess all I can do is wait to see what unfolds, especially with my career. I wanted to see him to tell him about my job application, gauge his response from it. Now i may never get that chance. I will keep you updated lol! Gosh sorry for the rambling, it’s 1am here and all this stress really affects my sleep…

  43. Hi, I was just wondering, if two people break up just before Venus Rx starts, and then get back together BEFORE Venus Rx finishes, are things likely to change AGAIN after it goes direct or does that mean the issues which caused the breakup are solved WITHIN the Rx period?

    • Hi Pleaides! In my experience (almost 2 decades now), the situation you mention here usually completes (ends) for good before the Venus Rx ends. I am seeing a similar situation with one of my close clients now actually, it is pretty painful. Perhaps the retrograde of Venus is asking to know the real reason(s) for the splitting of the relationship – it seems to add reinforcement to the lesson in my experience.

      • so does the breakup signify the completion, or does the reconciliation? I’m just wondering if it could be a ”false positive” and that maybe I should wait until after Venus goes direct to see if another change happens. Or is this reconciliation (after barely a month) a signal that things which ended in May have been resolved and are able to move forward in time for the end of June?

      • Usually it is a breakup honestly, but the terms of the breakup sometimes become more clear during the retrograde. There is nothing to do but to see what happens in any case and there is only a couple more weeks at this point. It isn’t like it is a good time for these opportunities to arrive so you aren’t missing anything by seeing what happens. A new change will happen when Venus goes direct – what those changes are, what they were and what they will be is too hard to say, since situations are so individual. All that is sure is a change will come. I hope it is good, but more importantly, I hope you discover all truth so that no matter what, you see what you are working with – in yourself and in others, and go from a better foundation with your decisions. Best of luck!

  44. Hi Lisa, I have really got heaps from your posts and reply’s to others – Thank you!!! I am in a relationship dilemma. I casually met a guy in August last year and by December it was clear there was something between us. However it was just a casual something at first (for me anyway as he is younger than me) but fast forward to the end of April and we spent some time together and for me it was quite strange as I felt a very deep connection, calm, safe..uninhibited ….at one almost. Things were great for a couple of weeks, but then everything changed…it seemed like he was stringing me along…so I told him how I felt and asked that if he didn’t feel a connection that things end…. he said he was open to a relationship but wanted to go slow….. This is fine with me – Things have been hot and cold since then, and I am really confused as to what to do – normally I would end things as I hate the unknowing, but a part of me won’t let me. I have learned a lot about myself from this relationship(in the loosest sense of the word) already, I never really took astrology seriously as my sun sign is virgo and everything I read is sooooo not me, but through this connection I have learned that my moon is scorpio – and this explains so very much!!!! I don’t know what to do with this guy….I feel no respect or caring from him right now….Do I end this now? or wait for retrograde to end?

    • Hello, and thanks for your compliments! So you are in a space of reevaluating your values with this relationship while Venus is retrograde? As to when to end it, it is up to you, but if you want to be sure about how you feel after the retrograde (if you think there is a chance you will change again), then wait until afterward. If you do it sooner, it isn’t like either of you have the right energy to find new situations during that time, so waiting won’t be a big deal unless you just cannot stand it any longer – that is a whole other thing! If you cannot stand it, do it now and don’t look back. But you don’t seem that way in your correspondence. Please visit back and keep us all posted OK? :-)

  45. Wow so glad that I came across this. I am a Taurus, as is my husband and boy have we had a tough 8 weeks. My hubby lost his job on 27th April and has been doing everything in his power to find employment. It has been so stressful, oh and not to mention that I am 31 weeks pregnant. Despite his experience and qualifications, he has been unable to find employment. After reading about Venus being in retrograde for Taurus, I am left wondering if this could have something to do with us being unable to make any progress in this situation. It seems that every path he chooses is a dead end. Do you think that our situation could be affected by venus in retrograde? Should we see an improvment once it turns direct again?

    • Yes, I definitely think it is affecting you both. Please don’t give up, perhaps it is a good time to see what both of you truly value as well and be thankful for the small things will allow bigger things in later – gratitude! If things still haven’t sorted out by July, then something else is going on, and either a consultation or a healing would be in order. Choose someone you feel comfortable working with, OK? I wish you the BEST when Venus goes direct!!

  46. Hi, my relationship has been rocky literally since about the day Venus went retrograde. My boyfriend has been distant and withdrawn. He has a lot of stress right now but he didn’t start acting differently toward me until mid May. When Venus goes direct will our relationship open up again? Feel the love again..?

    • I sure hope so!! It is common right now, and I guess the idea is to not ignore the elephant in the room but if he consciously tells you he is processing, give him space to do so. Just acknowledge it instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. This is about valuing (Venus) communications (Gemini), right? Best to you!!

  47. Thank you for the advice. I’m trying my best to give space but it’s difficult for me as I feel unappreciated and hurt. Hopefully energy shift the 27th. Thanks again

  48. One week to go until this hell is over! My relationship is, well god knows what it is now but it’s practically died. Please please tell me that once Venus goes direct, that things will change for the better for everyone? I’m a Pisces (3rd decan) with Virgo ascendant.

    • Hi Jenny! I am sure I have many clients, Email list subscribers, and Venus retrograde post commenters that would indeed agree with you! One thing is for sure, the energies by June 28, 2012 WILL change. I will say that due to the forward motion that usually change is for the better by then. Also, don’t forget that Saturn in relationship-oriented (and Venus-ruled) Libra will also be going direct two days before – I think people are also feeling THAT. Wishing you the VERY best!

      • Can you please explain the effects of Saturn going direct? (even retrograde?!) I’m still learning and had no idea Saturn was in retrograde nor what that means for us.

        Thank you so much

      • Aha! This is to be one of my next blog posts – in fact I would write about many of the outer planets (and non-planets), going retrograde and direct (Jupiter, Saturn, Chiron, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto). Please check back or sign up for email updates (in the right-column, toward the top, or click on the “+Follow” Button at the bottom right screen). In the meantime, enjoy this older article: http://www.carlamary.net/saturnretrograde.html :-)

  49. Hi Lisa – thank you for such an informative account of the retrograde period. The only thing I am questioning is the relationship portion… I know old loves are supposed to resurface and one of mine did. We broke up for reasons beyond our control but our love never died for one another. We are taking things very slow but he came back in May and we are so so so so very happy I cant even put it into words. He says this time he is here to stay forever. l truly believe he is my soul mate… I thought this 3 years ago and I think this now. We have not actually committed to one another yet and I’m wondering if we wait until after the 27th am I still subject to this not working out???????? Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me!

    • The safest bet is to take things slowly right now and wait until after June 28th or so to choose a solid direction. I truly hope it does work, but the change is coming and both of you need to experience that change in order to know for sure. I realize patience can be an issue but honestly, we don’t have that long to go. I look forward to hearing from you in July and best wishes!

  50. Hi Lisa, have some dates for you and wondering if you might see a pattern. Person I’ve had an involvement with since early April of this year (who i had, oddly, met in 2004 during the first part of the Venus Transit and didn’t associate with until this year) ended their 3.5yr long term relationship on the Scorpio Full Moon in May,and over the next few weeks this person deepened their connection with ME which culminated in deep honesty and expression on the May 20th New Moon. When Jupiter entered Gemini on the 12th June, this person reversed the decision they made on the 6th May and went back to their partner. I’m now in the position of wondering if the events of the past few months have merely been that ”past relationship” that was meant to resurface and that I am simply meant to learn from it and move on, or….is this person going to be around once Venus goes direct? Or not? …. I’m Pisces Rising/Pisces Moon so usually spot on when it comes to knowing how things will unfold (the gut and intuition never fails ). But this time, my gut is SCREAMING at me to not move on from this. Why? My head is telling me that it has run its course and that this person has taught me what I needed to learn lately, and that I should move forward next week. But my gut is pulling me back making me focus on this person 24 hours a day, telling me NO. Wait. Don’t let it go yet. Why is that? It’s never happened before.

    • Offhand I do not see a pattern, other than the Venus Rx one you mention. As a Pisces who has learned to trust your intuition, I would say that there likely still is some unfinished business. But that doesn’t mean putting your life on hold for it. Put it on a back burner and go on with your life. If something appears after Venus Rx (which it might), deal with it then. If you knew what was to happen, you would likely already be able to make a decision one way or another but since it is lingering, that means information needs to be presented so decisions can be made and you can’t really do that until you (really, both of you) are in that space. Just allow that event to happen whenever it will, and then decide. If you have already moved on before it presents itself, well just know that was also meant to be like that. Does this help?

  51. Hello Lisa. Finding this site was the best thing I have done since this whole RX started. Last year August I got into a relationship with a friend of 5 years. All the while we were friends it seems now that he wanted to get closer to me but I never responded because I was in a relationship and he never really asked me out. But he seemed to have sufferred a lot, because he was solely responsible for supporting the friendship with calls which largely went unanswered by me. So we start getting close last year after I was out of my previous relationship and he tells me we arent dating but should be close friends and see how it goes bcoz he needs time to decide if he wanted to commit fully to this, I fell in love with him gradually after he tells me he’s loved me from the first time he met me and years on was still in love with me. The day venus went RX, I went to see him and we kisd and he responded even tho he normally has reservations about us getting amorous then just before I left he went on a binge and was practically eating up his whole fridge; he was uneasy and he even realised this bcoz he complained of feeling odd. And then the next morning I get a message sent at 2am that he was going to say sumtin that may hurt me but he was convinced it was the right thing to do; he would no longer condone or encourage any amorosity btw us and that he wasnt dating me and truth is he wasnt gonna date me however he apreciated and still wanted to b friends with me but the amorosity must stop going forward. Since the message I have gone through a lot; he talks ambigously when he talks at all; sometimes he is friendly and other times he just cuts off and refuses to take calls and reply to any communication.
    He is leo asc node; virgo sun, moon and mercury; libra venus and cancer mars; I am gemini asc node; Taurus sun and mercury, libra moon and venus in gemini. I would really apreciate your insight on this.

    • Thanks so much for your compliments, indeed many have told me this is the best Venus Retrograde post ever (my mind still blown haha!) :-) You don’t mention your Mars, but if that is working, it seems like your planets pretty well get along (which would explain long-term friendship too). In my experience, if each person’s Mars is in an expression conflict, all the other stuff can work, but no Mars contacts (aspects) usually means “only friends” and hard-aspect Mars contact means romantic interest but also trouble. The reason is that each of you may always misinterpret each other’s actions and motivations. So while his Mars is in reserved and held-back Cancer (negatively expressed as passive-aggressive), if your Mars is in result-oriented Capricorn or direct, forceful, impulsive Aries – it could feel exciting but scary too – and if it not acknowledged or expressed (i.e. his Virgo stuff might hold back), he may not even know why he feels the way he does. If couples are aware of having a Mars (or Mercury, or Moon) square or hard-aspected, conscious acknowledgment of the pattern and open communications at all times by both partners helps, but it still isn’t easy, especially with Mars since it likes to get its way. It seems communication is in order, Venus retrograde or not. However, it takes two to communicate and if he is not interested in (or emotionally ready for) exploring this area, there may be nothing you can do with this. I do hope the channels of communication open when Venus (and Saturn) go direct and we don’t have long now. The energy will change but we don’t know how it will change because we all have free will – hoping for the best but even better is knowing the truth, whatever that may be, so that growth is possible no matter what.

      • Thanks Lisa. I forgot to add my mars is in Taurus. Sometimes he comes up all warm and on sunday he called me and asked me what was on my mind? he asked very good naturedly like 5 or 6 times and I tried to brush him off coz when i got the message on the 16th of May, I tried to get him to talk about it but he refused and then I got angry and sent him a very vindictive mail after which I was sorry and apologised. He only got to talk to me after the apology and sent me a mail saying he kept mute bcoz I was portraying myself as the victim and he usually says nuffin when his input would not alleviate a situation or add value. and since that mail I refused to bring up this issue and ignored subtle hints by him to try to. On rounding up sundays conversation he said he would call back and we have to talk; he said it sort of pleadingly and I waited but nothing. So yesterday being wednesday I send him a message which he has stoically ignored and ignored my calls also. His hot and cold is always a big blow to me. I would follow your advice and try to talk with him after the RX; for now I cant even figure him out.
        Thank you for replying so speedily. xx

      • Oh Lisa, sighs* its post rx now and I have been stalking your blog hoping for just one post rx come-back story from any of the commentators. Just one. It would give me hope to continue to hold on or expect. I was thinking maybe I should contact him; but with him being a virgo wont it amount to a loss of respect for me? What do you advice? Do you think he would reach out? and maybe anytime soon? I hate to think of him carrying on as if nuffin bothers him and me here mooning over him every spare second. How can someone so nice be so mean? He alternates it so well.
        You should write or post something, anything about post retrograde up on your blog. No one quite covers it like you do. Hearing from you calms my frayed nerves.

      • Well, I am afraid that part is out of my control unfortunately hehe! I have not heard of anything yet but give Venus some time to build up speed forward again, so those who are even unaware of this motion will feel the change (and hopefully therefore act on it). While we know change somes when Venus goes direct, we do not know which form it will take as everyone is an individual, and everyone has free will. However, historically, the changes after the Rx are usually more positive than those that happen during the Rx. I noticed people indeed are coming back to report their experience, so stay tuned. Take some Rescue Remedy to keep your nerves intact in the meantime! ;-)

      • Thanks Lisa, you are the absolute best. Your rescue remedy is working; lets hope this tides me till when I hear from him. And fingers crossed for me that he would change positively to my favour. winks*

      • Hello Lisa. Its been a while I know. There has still been no headway in all this time. When I dont communicate with him for a while he gets on the phone and calls me everyday until he speaks to me; but when he talks he says nothing at all. Just normal friendly chitchat. A part of me has disconnected from him but I still want to know if there was ever anything there and if to pack it all up and disconnect completely. Do you sense anything about us?
        Also originally you wrote that: “In my experience, if each person’s Mars is in an expression conflict, all the other stuff can work, but no Mars contacts (aspects) usually means “only friends” and hard-aspect Mars contact means romantic interest but also trouble”. I would like to know what his and my mars portend; you never really got to say. his mars is in Cancer while mine is in Taurus. Sorry I had to drag you back here.

      • Hellow Feirext! While initially those Mars placements usually don’t mean as much trouble (which means more likely other things are happening too), I think the next time he ignores you only to call you repetitively to then only have meaningless chitchat – call him on it. Ask him why he is doing this, because you are not seeking such a superficial investment – even for a friendship and that the behavior must stop or you won’t speak to him again. Either he will snap out of it and act more appropriately, making your friendship more sustainable, or he will disappear. Or, he will continue the same thing, which means he does not think your wishes are important enough to listen and take to heart, and then you can certainly end it at that point. Let us know, since people are still following this thread even after all this time! :-)

  52. Just have to say wow! The information that you have posted is so intreresting! I stumbled across your site and found the info so helpful. I broke up with my boyfriend who is a pisces and i’m a libra , we were together for 2.5yrs. I’m finding it hard to let go. At the time of the break up I also lost my job and returned to school so there has been some really tough times emotionally for me and he wasn’t there.Just wondering if things will change when Venus goes direct. I still care for this person but not sure if I should continue to wait and hope that maybe he will change his mind and try to reconnect with me. Thanks so much for this site Lisa!!

    • Hi Suzanne! Honestly, you have been challenged with not only Venus (your ruling planet) being Rx but also Saturn being in your sign and it has been Rx for the last time (been going on the last 2+ years, so likely when your relationship started), so I think some relief would be on its way when Saturn AND Venus go direct (Libras take note!). The form of that relief cannot be determined but I think things will not be as hard as they were. From this new space after the 28th, I think you will know about whether to pursue this relationship or let it go (and just from the layout of stuff, letting go seems better but I am not in it). You broke up for a reason and I am going to guess the reason is valid and not much hope of changing it if you had tried to change it for some 2 years now, right? If you are struggling emotionally with letting go, you may also have some Scorpio or other placements that dislike releasing. Earlier in comments, I suggested Walnut Flower Essence as it will help you to stand independently and feel strong doing that (Libra likes relationship, but make sure it is the right one, right?) ;-) Stop back and tell us what happens! I hope you decide to stay updated as I will be posting even BETTER material for times coming up – clicking “+Follow” at the bottom right of your screen or using the sign-up form in the right-hand column is the best way to stay in the loop!

  53. Hello. My boyfriend of over a year (Aquarius) and I (Libra) were making plans to move in together soon. (we currently are long distance). Our relationship was great. We communicate really well and a ring was bought and things were pretty blissful. Then Venus Rx hit and he lost his job. He was pretty stressed but I was very supportive and felt we would get through it together. But then one day he abruptly dumped me via text with no warning. He said he couldn’t be with anyone and wouldn’t discuss it or speak to me via phone or skype. I was devastated and confused. BUT throughout all this he keeps making comments on my facebook page and reposting my articles (I’m a writer) with glowing reviews about what a talent I am. He wont speak to me or tell me what is going on, but he keeps up this pantomime online? Confused. What is Venus doing to me. I feel like I’m going crazy.

    • I am so very sorry Holly. I don’t think you are crazy. Wanting a relationship to work out and being willing to do the work necessary is not crazy. However, there must be a reason that he would end things so abruptly and rudely. While I cannot know his motivation, from looking at behavior as you describe here, my guess is (a) he is so horribly embarrassed by not being able to support a partner that he is apparently incapable of even have an adult conversation with you about it, or (b) he found another (and if it is the latter, I do not want to be her if this is how he deals with problems). To me, no matter what, the part that would be unacceptable is the rudeness and unjustified “finality” on how he handled the problem. Here is a Venus value statement: You deserve more than this. If he cannot talk to you at all about a temporary financial problem – what else is he incapable of? Or what else is he not revealing? Maybe it was better that you didn’t move in together, it sounds like he has some growing to do. Avoiding issues is not the way to do it, and to pretend to the rest of the world that everything is OK knowing full well you will notice is also not the way to do it. If I am misunderstanding what you wrote, I apologize – but if it is at least close to the mark, I hope you can heal from this, realizing that you need someone truly available for relationship in your future. Let me know how you are doing after the Rx is over, OK?

  54. Like many who have posted here, I am dealing with a lover who pulled away when Venus went into retrograde. We didn’t end things, but he became more emotionally unavailable and contacts me less frequently. Ours is a long-distance interaction which began towards the end of March; we are not yet exclusive, and the ‘distance thing’ seems insurmountable to him at times. In some ways its’ disfunction suits us because he is emotionally unavailable and I am a busy, overwhelmed single mom who doesn’t have time for a relationship with a significant time commitment. He has started contacting me more lately, and sometimes we chat late into the night. I am an Aquarius with Mars in Aries and Venus in Sagittarius; he is a Leo with Mars in Aries and Venus in Leo. Obviously I know I just need to wait out the retrograde period and see how things go, but I’m wondering if I should keep my hopes up, based on that information about our signs.

    • Well, seeing how this Venus retrograde is nearly over, I guess waiting until it goes direct could be a good idea, but don’t stress on it in the meantime – I say “back burner” and focus on things important. Saturn is also going direct (tomorrow) and may help change things too (that is also in the blog post). I remember being a single mother, and finding a partner that actually helped my situation instead of adding another thing to do was pretty challenging – but when it is the right one, you will feel relief. I hope things work out after this week :-)

  55. I LOVED this article and it rang so true for me. I was in a relationship for almost 2 years and in January he broke it off. 6 weeks later he wanted to work on things and was so regretting breaking it off. Things were good til I lost a close family friend may 7th. On the May 23rd, he broke up with me again with no warning and with the same reasoning. He is an alcoholic and wants to work on himself (we are both in a 12 step program) I am a Leo and so is he. We didn’t talk for over a month and on June 24th, we spoke in the phone. I have this feeling in my gut( could be denial)it’s not over but I don’t know where to go from here. He says we are over but he so badly wants to be my friend. I think he wants his cake and eat it too. I’m not sure as a Leo where to go from here with the situation or what to expect after the retrograde. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

    • Sarah, I am so sorry it has been so up and down for you – but if both of you are in the 12-step program, both of you are constantly changing, right? Part of being in a steady relationship is knowing who you are so you know what you want – and if you are changing (and he is changing) – how is that possible? I have heard that 12-step programs discourage relationships for this very reason, do they still? In any event, it is nice to have someone to talk to so you don’t feel so alone in this process, but part of your time you may need to be alone, to sort stuff out. Is friendship possible, or is it passed that for you? Since both of you are Leos, perhaps it is time for each of you to reclaim your “Sun” energy, your true selves. Not your “ego” per se – but to embrace fully who you truly are – and to know that energy first! Since alcohol is an issue, if you use Flower Essences, use them externally (i.e. on the wrists, temples or in a spray bottle with distilled water, or bath water). I am picking up that the Sun-ruled “Walnut” essence will help both of you be independent in a healthy way so that you can have the type of relationship that it is supposed to be because both of you would be operating from your own power instead of feeling pulled by forces that are not of your true selves. If he is not open to this, that is OK, do it for yourself – energy WILL change. Now the Venus retrograde is almost over so energy will change just because of that – but hopefully this time you are sorting your values – you must value yourself and love yourself (and know yourself) first before ANYTHING else is possible. I hope you signed up for updates and also keep us posted on this thread!! :-)

      • Thank you so much for your reply!!! I got some walnut oil and I didn’t know it had brandy in it til I put it in my wrists and I reeked of booze!!! Do you know of where I could get some that is pure oil and has no alcohol in it?

      • Oh no! Walnut Oil is NOT the same as Walnut Flower Essence! If you did in fact get Walnut Flower Essence, you can easily put a few drops in a spray bottle of water and spray it around – you will not smell the brandy (the preservative) if you dilute it. I would use distilled water or spring water as it is best!

      • I’m not sure that friendship is possible. I don’t know that I can hang out with him and not have the hope that we will get back together. We will have to be “friendly ” in September 9th because I’m a bridesmaid in his sisters wedding and we have to walk down the isle together. I’m relieved that Venus is direct and I look forward to what the future has for me

      • I didn’t think you could be that close of friends but I thought I would ask. It makes sense. Indeed, Venus is direct and you can go forward – I hope you understood my earlier comments and will take them to heart. Take care Sarah!

  56. Wow. This has really helped me see things a little more clearly and understand just why I’ve been going through this in the last two weeks. This is a bit of a long story so please bare with me. The reason I’m writing is because I can’t quite understand why I’m still unable to let this go and why I continue to over- think and obsess over it. I’ve been in a very loving relationship with an incredibly honest, faithful and loyal man for almost 2 years now. He’s always very open and honest with me so when we first started dating he told me about a girl he met online a while back who he’s only ever spoken to, they’ve never met in person. A couple of years before we met, he tried to fly to Florida to meet her but something intervened and it didn’t work out. He was always honest with me and told me whenever she contacted him, etc. The first few months we started dating she tried to get him to meet up with her when she was in California (where we live) and he refused making sure she understood he and I are in a very healthy relationship. Fast forward a year where he tells me she’s continuously messaging him on Facebook. I get a little bothered by this and he makes the decision on his own to delete her and avoid conflict if any. However a few months later I noticed he became friends with her again. But when I brought this up to him, he was again very open and honest and said that she messaged him saying she understood he was in a relationship and that she just wants to be friends. He again made sure she knew and understood that he was in a relationship with me and that he loves me very much. He promised he would never and could never cheat on me or anyone because it just isn’t his style, he’s never done it. He’s been cheated on and knows how awful it feels. Well, on June 13th I got a text message from him of pictures of the Hoover Dam when they were on tour. But I noticed there was another number attached to that text. When I asked him what number it was he explained he also sent the message to his friend (he said her name which I will omit for privacy reasons). I reacted emotionally and began to panic…I didn’t respond and he asked if I was ok. When I said no, it clicked that what he did was completely stupid and he didn’t know why he did it. He said he never talks to her but all of a sudden sent this text because she’s a fan of his band and figured he would show off a little that they were on tour. He told me over and over that he was incredibly sorry and was very upset that he hurt me. He said he feels like the biggest jerk ever and “wants to spend the rest of his life with me and nothing this petty or ignorant will ever happen again.” I absolutely believe him but after coming across this article and educating myself on Venus Retrograde I can’t help but wonder if it possibly had something to do with this? Again, sorry for the novel, but I’m hoping you can help shed some light on this :)

      • Argh! This sounds like an unfortunate happening. Cancers are upmost concerned about emotional security and I could see how that rattled your cage. Since he is a Virgo, Venus is squaring his sign, where he usually can keep everything in order – and life happens and stuff gets out of order. This sounds fixable, and it sounds like he is OK with your situation. The question is: Are you OK with your situation? This will be up to you. You will need to figure out if you feel secure when other females are around in a career environment where he needs to be somewhat open in these areas. While many signs can handle this, a Cancer by nature usually does not. So you may wish to work on your energies of trust, or if it is just too much for you to do, you may decide to release him – not because of anything he did, but because the whole situation just feels too tumultuous for you. I guess you can decide after the retrograde as energy is changing soon. Please come back and let me know how you wish to do this. If you wish to try healing, flower essences could be a good next step, and I hope a consultation with anyone that can help you through this process would be on your list. I wish you the very best Penny!

      • Yes, I think as a Cancer I’m just extra sensitive to things like this. I also know that it’s a common occurrence in relationships. It definitely rattled my cage but I know deep in my heart that I can trust him. He’s assured me of it many times throughout our relationship. Luckily we have a very open and honest relationship so we are able to calmly talk about these things if they arise. I also have a hormonal imbalance which doesn’t help my emotional state at times. Haha. But I luckily am on the path to recovery and am taking natural supplements to heal. I just hate when challenges like this arise because I can’t currently handle them like a normal person can. Thank you so much for your response, I really do appreciate it. I definitely want to hold onto him as he does to me. Like he said “I want to spend the rest of my life with you…you’re the love of my life.” I’m committed as is he and I think we can weather the storm :)

      • I had hormonal imbalance and I know you can correct that with proper herbs and nutrition (and maybe with other therapies too) so don’t give up on that! You can do it Penny! As a Cancer, perhaps looking at Honeysuckle Flower Essence can help process stuff from the past too – it helps you look at the present and future more, very helpful for Cancers :-) I look forward to your follow-up!

      • Yep, I have an excellent Naturopath that has me on a variety of natural supplements to heal this Adrenal Fatigue…I can’t wait until I’m healed :) Dealing with this at the age of 28 is very overwhelming but I’m learning. I’m definitely going to check out the honeysuckle flower! I never knew about it. Hopefully it will help me and I won’t have to wake up thinking about this every single morning :)

      • Do you have a specific brand of Honeysuckle Flower Essence that you would recommend…I just did some research on it and it sounds like this is exactly what I need!

      • Indeed! Bach is a very good brand name, but if you can get the FES version, it is in my humble opinion even better, since nowadays it is actually made closer to the way Dr. Bach made them when he was alive. Here is a direct link to my Amazon aStore: http://astore.amazon.com/astroherbcom-20/detail/B000VGCDOE :-) If you are interested, here is a direct link to the eBook called Patterns of Life Force by Julian Barnard: http://edwardbach.org/Library/LifeForces/_LifeForce.pdf :-) As an aside, I hope your naturopath has looked into Nettle (especially the seeds) and/or Licorice herbally to help your adrenal fatigue.

      • Yes I was taking a look at the Bach Remedies! I even listened to a brief history on Bach himself…very interesting. I’m SO happy that you have enlightened me on Flower Remedies…I really believe in natural healing and never knew about this! It’s incredible. I’m currently taking a supplement by Vitanica called Ovablend that has Nettles root in it :)

  57. HI!
    Ive never sent out an actual post before, even though ive read several blogs. Things in my life have been such a struggle through the retrograde i suppose thats whats lead me here. Firstly, i must highlight that over the course of the past 2 years (aprox) i have maintained double relationships with several key players, and some simple pawns. My fidelity is almost a joke for my friends and family. Recently, the two most valuable mates ive ever known (young lively aries/pisces cusp, and a strong attractive taurus- gemini asc.) entered my life..theyre men i saw a future with, children, security in the home environment. Choosing between them was proving impossible. Until venus overruled my indecisiveness. The details of the situation are personal, my scorpio asc makes even this comment feel like a betrayal to ones self. Furthermore, the three of us came face to face with the truth and the lies it was healing in some ways, scarring in others. I love them both i believe I always will. I know i am capable of juggling, but could the stress over time have put me here. I think venus was unhappy with my “lack of morality” concerning the situation. Her will is stronger than mine eh?

    Also, on a side note this retrograde brought up horrible feelings of abandonment from my father. The neglect is obvious for all who know me, but truly showing the impact has just recently found its way to my agenda. My chart consoled the cosmic working behind the relationship i have with my father for years. somehow this recent change in the stars has brought the pain back like and anxious knot only pacified by tears. Ive studied Astrology since age 16, and almost full time since 2010. This is my path, once you know its undeniable. Ive accept my character traits and flaws fully, but the amount of emotional..leading to physical torment im feel has me cloaked. i’m not making any decision regarding the relationship during the retrograde obviously. although, even if i could im not sure i would.

    Born: June 14th 1990, 4:29pm, Richmond VA.

    **for those not drawing a chart (which if your practicing astrology you should be) my moon sits suffering in pisces. This stands to acknowledge that all my past infidelities were not stemming from an evil place. Hurting these men the way i have is inexcusable, but self punishment is something a pisces moon knows a world about.

    Hope this doesn’t prove futile , I really need the insight..
    Thanks.

    • Hello Amber, and thanks for being brave enough to allow me to be your first post – that very likely took some courage! Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I am unaware of your cultural upbringing but I do know some people who have felt strongly deep inside that one mate in their lives is not right for them. They are in what is termed as a “polyamorous” relationship, and I must mention there are guidelines for these types of relationships to work too (and I often think it is more complicated – not in principal, but in practice because people are complicated). If this is something you wish to explore, please do some good research and some deep soul searching to see if it is right for you. In my eyes, cheating does not have to be an option. I realize you will likely begin your search online, but I cannot vouch for what you may find. If you read published material, I have heard that Raven Kaldera’s “Pagan Polyamory” (especially if you lean toward pagan or earth-based spiritual beliefs) is a good place to start. There are other authors who cover this topic as well. Please decide for yourself what feels right in your heart and your soul, not just your mind, and to not be unduly influenced by others even if they care for you.

      In any case, the healing of father abandonment must happen if you are to have ANY healthy relationship, monogamous or polyamorous. Please do your deep healing work with this while you are young. And speaking as a Gemini rising in a very wonderful monogamous relationship, I knew that I could not compromise at all with my partner choice. Gemini energy might think that they can’t ever have one partner because their needs are so diverse as to not mentally make sense that these things could ever exist in one person. As an example, thinking that the financial security of a banker with the artistic free soul of an artist who is broke would never find common ground – it sounds logical but it is not at all based in reality. You must decide that you deserve BOTH things and that it is possible to have them in ONE person (and later, if you decide polyamory is your path, you still need to realize you can have it all in one person even if you decide to choose more than one – one of the guidelines of polyamory working well is to have a primary partner, so you can see how important this concept is). For instance, you can instead choose a free-spirited artist who makes good money with his creations. You can be utterly honest to everyone, and don’t have to compromise! Once you realize this, you will then attract the right partner(s) for you. I also hope you continue to study astrology, there is tremendous healing available, but we need to avoid dangers of planetary placements as excuses for giving up, rather than seeing these areas as challenges and areas that just need improvement. There are beautiful aspects to having a Moon in Pisces and I will agree it is not an easy placement, but don’t resort to only expressing the “lower” vibrational energy of this – strive instead with an open heart to express the “higher” vibration into the world and for yourself. You have time as you are still young! I hope I have given you some “soul food for thought” here, and I look forward to your updates and staying tuned to new blog posts I think you might find interesting! :-)

  58. I am heartbroken, although reading these posts, i no longer feel alone during what has been a difficult 2 months of this venus rx, my heart is completely shattered. i fell in love with a man who has now completely withdrawn from me without an explanation, this happened just before the retrograde. i could sense something was starting to go a bit off epsecially as are currently in a long distance relationship, but he would still text and still say we will do something and see each other and if i asked what was wrong because i thought something was up, he would say he was ok and just work was starting to stress him out – ive known for a few months before it started to go bad that he was due to start a new aspect of his job around this month, that he was getting so stressed about, but for him to completely go awol on me has left me heartbroken, especially as he ignored me last messages to him. i was soon to be moving to his city, not for him, but for work. it was just a happy coincidence that id be closer to him.

    i want to think this venus rx has something to do with it, but with only 24 hours to go until it goes back to being direct, i just dont know what to think anymore or what will come of it. all i know is that i love him and miss him and want to rewind the months so i can be happy again. i dont know if he will come back – he is a libra and i have read that this rx has been particularly challenging for them. at the same time, i have had a difficult 6 months with my father passing away in december and also my contract for work not being renewed and so have been unemployed since. it seems that i have just had one bad luck after another.

    I am a pisces (29.17)
    my moon is in aries (21.10)
    my ascendant is in virgo (9.44)
    my mars is in taurus (2.22)

    he is a libra (15.29)
    his moon is in aries (0.13)
    his mars is in capricorn (2.20)

    i hope i can get through what could be what i feel (but praying it isnt) is another bout of bad luck with someone who i so long to be with who has gone awol. i know libra and pisces arent the most compatible, but he was strangely one of the only ones i could really connect with on both a personal and intellectual level, i never met someone who made me feel so comfortable about who i am, who i was proud to walk down the street with. for this to happen, it has destroyed me.

  59. i also have to add this wasnt a particularly long term relationship. we started dating in october last year and i dont count may and june as part of the “relationship”. we hadnt declared ourselves exclusive, but he knew i wasnt out dating others as thats not the type of person i am. and he never told me he was, but didnt tell me he wasn’t either, although told me he didnt agree with the notion of dating others at the same time either – whether this was just to appease me because i said if that happened to me i would walk away (we were discussing his friends situation in which the girl he was dating was dating other men alongside him).

    • Oh Lisa, I feel sad for you, but you are SO right about not being alone. I have also noticed that Pisces and Libra are not an easy combination, I guess the Moons in the same sign (i.e. your needs and feelings have similar themes), and your Mars being in signs of the same element (Earth) had helped. The only thing left here now is intention, really. By that, I mean not just your intention, but also his. I hope you have read some of the other comments on this thread to have a better understanding of Libra energy – the love process is rather alien to Pisces, since it is based on a more mental basis than a heart or soul basis. So his intentions may be based on a thought process, which can change. The reason for this is that Libras have an idea of love and they often attempt to match people to the idea, rather than to just organically feel and love in the way that Pisces naturally does. Now, this doesn’t mean that feelings cannot be honored – but it is not natural for a Libra to do this. Even Libras that have their ruling planet Venus in a feeling sign like Scorpio will still have an ideal they wish to reach and in this case, they may do that with great passion (and until they learn how to trust themselves in a deep relationship, there can be some trust issues that surface if this is their placement). While I feel like he may default to his sign (due to timing), please keep us posted in the next couple of days if and when you discover his intention, will you? People can change, they just often do not. It can be difficult to change our nature. I hope you also decide to get updates, since I will be writing more good stuff soon ;-)

      • thank you so much for your reply lisa. i see you are so busy answering everyones questions and you really do have my thanks for answering mine.

        do you suggest that i confront him about this or see if he comes back? since he has slowly drifted away from me from end of april/first week of may, ignoring my texts to meet up recently and generally not being in contact ever since, i think i know where we stand, i only avoided confronting him due to fear of reality and because the rx is often not the best time for any concrete decisions. i wanted to wait until after.

        your amazing explanation about the libra processes of love i think fits him! he is religious (and i am not of the same religion as him) he has always dated women of a different religion from him and i know he has pressure to marry within the religion. he has this thought process i think of what love should be and how he should go about finding it (however as you can see, it doesnt end up like that, otherwise he would never have dated me). but i think his thought processes can get in the way of just FEELING love and affection, he has it, but i think it gets clouded. you have described me and how i process love absolutely correctly. this was truly the first time i really “fell” for someone. and i didnt want to tell him because we werent exclusive and i didnt know that i would be moving any closer to him. funny how things turn out. im sure distance here is a big factor in his behaviour and im sure hes using it to run away and not speak to me. i am praying venus rx going direct in a few hours (im in the uk!) will change things for the better.

        thank you so much Lisa for your response x

      • I apologize – what I meant by this was that all of the zodiac signs have a behavior and a process that comes rather naturally. I had described above one of the natural behaviors (in this case, Libra). Many of the natural behaviors that are developed are for self-preservation, perceived or real. We tend to default to our natural behaviors UNLESS we become conscious and change our behavior, deliberately – for what we believe is a better decision. When I said “default to his sign” what I meant is that there most usually is a larger chance that someone will keep to their nature, since it is most comfortable and is habit. It can take a lot to make change, even if it is healthy and often, that does not happen. I hope this now makes sense! :-)

      • Woohoo Venus goes direct today! Can I ask for some advice? Based on him being a libra and him withdrawing from me, and I don’t know if me being scared to confront him finally is a Pisces trait or just my own personality, do you suggest that i confront him about this or see if he comes back? I know that during the rx it is often not the best time for any concrete decisions but now its gone direct should I make the move or wait for him? i ought to know really, as aso many of my friends say actions speak louder than words, and the fact he never responded to me asking if we could see each other is pretty damn obvious that its over. I never really believed in astrology before but all of this has hit me hard.

      • Lisa, I would not make contact. Allow him to do what he will do, and in the next couple of days or so he doesn’t, then move on and realize you deserve even better than this. If he does make contact, then tell him exactly what it is that you expect in the future of the relationship and I would also make sure he understands very well before reconnecting. If he doesn’t, or if he does but cannot agree, let him go. No matter whether it is him or another, you deserve to have the type of relationship you want. Sometimes it is hard work and sometimes it flows easier, but in my eyes, all people deserve love! Now if only WE knew intuitively that we deserve love, right? ;-) I hope to stay tuned!

      • gosh not contacting him will be so hard…especially as i want to tell him how much his behaviour has been unacceptable. but i do also want to hold my head up high and be strong. its odd, since reading about venus rx, its effects and what happens when it goes direct, i keep having fluttering feelings that he will get in contact (mainly because i read that getting in contact during the rx isnt a good sign and if its worth it, it’ll be there after it goes direct, that actually happened with a job i wanted so badly and didnt get – applied for something better 2 weeks later!) but my niggly feelings have been wrong on so many occasions recently so maybe i am just clinging on to hope, there are days when i face up to perhaps never hearing from him again. we shall see.

  60. Thank you for this insightful article! I had no idea about Venus and retrograde and happened upon information which led me here. I want to share a very strange story and see if you can give me insight. I am a Virgo and met a Gemini man in January. I liked him very much, enjoyed his company, was attracted to him but I always felt like he was ready to take our relationship to a place that I wasn’t sure I was ever going to want to go with him. I’ve been quite conflicted about whether or not to keep dating him but ultimately (perhaps selfishly?) I continued to see him because I enjoyed being with him so much. Well…on May 15th, he came to my home to see me before leaving town the next day. We had a nice time and I was sad to see him go, knowing it would be about a week and a half before I would see him again. While he was out of town, he broke his leg while hiking and…to make a very long story short…on the evening of May 31st, he very suddenly died of a blood clot! Ironically, I survived a pulmonary embolism (blood clot to the lung) back in March. Because of that irony, and because of other odd things that have happened around the time of and since his death (i.e. his photo popping up on my phone right around the time he died and other weird synchronicities), I feel like this whole situation has been inspired by fate or destiny. I’ve felt like I learned a great deal from my time with him because I recently got out of a very bad marriage and this man was kind, decent, handsome, had good values, and had his act together. He was instrumental in helping me realize that I could be with someone of a higher caliber. And now I am missing him terribly and in deep grief. So, my question is….how does all this fit in with the traditional thinking about Venus in retrograde? It seems to fit in ways but it also seems so terribly drastic! I would love to know your thoughts about this and what this might mean for me going forward.

    • While death usually plays out in a “death” of an idea, or a relationship, or things – having it reflect in an actual person dying is rare, so that is something else. However, I am seeing that he helped you to re-e-VALUE-ate how you will do relationships from now on. He has helped you recognize what it is you seek. I hope that you can process your grief (get some Rescue Remedy or Star of Bethlehem if you need help here) and breathe! Things will get better and please know that you were bestowed a gift of knowledge – about yourself more than anything else. I would thank him for that. Apparently it was his time and you would not have met unless you were supposed to. I am so sorry to hear about this but I know you would not be the same person if this didn’t touch your life. Do him the favor of living without fear and choose well! I am sure the folks also reading this thread will be warmly thinking of you, Melissa! <3

  61. Hi Lisa,
    Thanks for the help extended through this blog. I will appreciate if you can helpme in the situation i am.I was in a relationship with a girl and we fall in love in july 2011 and decided to introduce each other to our parents. Our parents were happy with the choice and we got engaged and ring ceremony was on 6th Dec. 2011. And the marriage date was decided on coming 27th June 2012. Everything was prepared for the marriage ceremony, even the invitaion cards were done at bride side. But all of a sudden her mother came to my place on 13th May and broke this relationship without giving any reason. Since then i am trying to contact my girl, but there is no response from her side. After 13th May i haven’t even heard her voice. I came to know about Venus RX. I am in a dilemma what to do. Can you please help me what will be the future of this relationship after Venus Directs its way. I am Aquarian and she is Scorpio. Please help in getting the clear picture

    • Oh Vikas, this is terrible! I will guess that you are in a culture where parental approval of marriage is tremendously important, even imperative. My intuitive feeling about her mother tells me she believes she may have discovered a materially more lucrative match (be it for financial or status reasons), and that her daughter didn’t want to displease her, despite her pain. Venus is direct today, and energies will change. My highest hope would be that this didn’t work out and the aftermath would be apparent now. I cannot guarantee contact of course but it is a possibility in this instance, due to the timing. Please keep us posted Vikas!

  62. Thanks Lisa for hopes. I will wait for the destiny to play the major role, because i know I love her and even she was devoted to me.

  63. Lisa,
    Sorry to bother you again, just wanted to share we are is a culture where once the engagement breaks and that also after six months just 5 weeks before the wedding it will not be so easy to find a Groom so soon. And about her old relationship as she had a boy friend before me and they broke up, surely i was not the reason so my Karma will not be questioned because I didn’t even know the girl when they broke up, when i came into relationship it was not retrograde period of venus :-) , I know that old guy was still there in her friend list and I doubt he tried to contact her, If he is the reason will they last longer? I know its hard to accept if she returns but loves knows no integrity, its unconditional.

    • Strangely, I am not picking up that the prior boyfriend is an issue. Thank you for explaining more about your culture but something is still (hmmm) “fishy” about why a reason was never disclosed and like you, I do not think you are the reason. Otherwise she would have said something. Be patient Vikas, I do believe that now that Venus (and Saturn) are direct, all will be revealed. Please let us know the outcome, OK? It seems this is the most educational blog post and comment thread regarding Venus retrograde on the internet! ;-)

      • i have to agree here! so many sites use such technical terms that i find it hard to understand, but this has been a fantastic blog to read, so easy to understand, and reading other peoples experiences has not only been helpful, but comforting, especially with your responses.

  64. I owe you a Salute for your help extended to everyone and replying them. What ever will be the outcome I will certainly post it. There is no other blog I find which can be even compared to this. Indeed, the best.

    • OMG – (blushes) Vikas, Lisa – Thank you, ALL of you!! It is YOU who are the best!! You see, it is YOU who make this THE coolest place on the web hehe! ;-)

  65. Pingback: Who Heals the Healers? | The AstroHerbalist, AarTiana

  66. So my seemingly perfect relationship ended under Venus retrograde to (no surprise) an ex. There were some external factors involved and the ex returned slightly before it began…but our beautiful relationship definitely died around may 15. He’s been with this woman off and on for six years and for some reason they think its going to work now. My question is what happens to me, him, us and them two.after Venus goes direct? I’m not saying I want him back ( the last month post break up was ugly) but it would be nice to get peace of mind.

  67. I left this comment on the other blog too, so don’t think its spam. I began dating a guy end of Februrary, it was absolutely amazing til around the beginning to middle of May. An ex reappeared in his life. She was apparently AWOL the entire time we dated, then started popping back in the picture gradually. We began having problems, and the 17th of May was a huge, huge, blow up. We broke up a few days later. I came to find out that he and the ex were back together within the last month. While I don’t want him back, I want some peace of mind. What’s the likely scenario for all the parties involved? Will them two (who have six years of good and very bad) last? Will he try to get back at me? Really what I want is to see what he lost when he lost me…..yeah, its petty but I was completely wronged in this situation. Post break up I did some pretty wicked things out of pure anger, but he did things that were FAR worse. I don’t get how an amazing relationship literally dies overnight and I’m very resentful. What’s Venus going direct going to do to this situation? Thanks :)

    • Hey Jackie! Yes, OMG this is definitely a Venus Rx story, and yes, I think that despite his thinking (and even her thinking) that it would be different; due to the timing alone, we know that it isn’t. I am glad he is already gone. The reason it seemed amazing is because he was hiding stuff about himself and luckily you got to see so your time was shortened with this. So, just imagine – even if he comes back now that Venus is direct, wouldn’t it always run through your mind that the next time Venus goes retrograde (in the Fall of 2013, in Scorpio of all things), the entire scenario could happen all over AGAIN? It probably will at this rate! He hasn’t learned after 6 years? That is a pattern, and I am just not thinking he learned again, and don’t hold your breath for him to figure out what he lost with you if he can’t even figure this out – move on and don’t look back. I would have also let him go due to bad behavior in general – a break-up doesn’t have to be like that, even if she wasn’t there. Burn some sage and get that “ick” off of you, right? Time to start anew, with new value in yourself and to find a match with that value, and no flippin’ drama! Go girl! :-)

      • Well as much as im kind of pining for the good times again there’s way too much animosity to ever even think of a relationship again…..it just got too ugly (even police were called.) Sorry for the double post I didn’t realize these had to wait moderator approval lol. But, it comforts me knowing im not alone and I wish I wouldd have been more in tune with the stars when all this happened. It was unusual because at least 4 women I’m close to had issues with their lovers being unfaithful I knew something was awry! So what happens after an rx and how long does it take for things to return to normal

      • Well, that depends – sometimes it is right away, other time (like maybe your situation), you are still processing and releasing. I will completely agree that you are not available when you are still involved in this process – so that part is entirely up to you and how long you need before getting your bearings to try again. Wishing you the best Jackie!

      • I did my homework and found this stuff out:

        Me-
        Virgo Rising, Sun and Moon in Gemini, and Venus in Gemini

        Him-
        Virgo rising on the 1st cusp, Sun in Gemini,Moon in Scorpio, Venus in Leo

        How were we affected by this retrograde?

      • Since both of you had Gemini placements, and Virgo is a sign that squares Gemini (same ruler too), I would say the retrograde just brought all the issues that neither of you were really aware of and put them in your face to really see what they are. Both of you have free will, so you can do what you will once you find things out. Just a note – planets do not cause things to happen to us. They are a mirror or reflection to allow us another way to see things – sometimes a better view. I don’t know if you could have avoided all of this – I think you needed to know what was going on and then act on it. Retrogrades help us with this process (perhaps a little too well, right?) I hope you are healing Jackie!

      • Well, I know the planets don’t make our destiny or anything, and there is definitely a lot of truth to bringing things to light. I entered this relationship completely clear of any baggage, drama, and with my intentions clear. I should have known better, as his ex was still in the picture as of our first date. Mostly I’m thankful this all came to light as soon as it did, but then part of me feels like such an idiot for even entering the relationship to begin with.

      • Oh girl, give yourself a break! None of us do everything perfectly! I know in my heart though that this experience has taught you a lot to look for that you will not underestimate in the future. Your boundaries are that much better – go forth in the world with this, you are better for this in the long run!

      • My update isn’t too awesome either. My disaster of a man owes me money, and I’ve been trying to get it back. We got into a nice little battle of words which led to an email from him which I interpreted as a threat to kill me. So, I contacted the agency sponsoring his scholarship. Something is WAY wrong with that man, and while I care about him and think about him a lot, until he gets himself help there isn’t a lot I can do for him. I tried, and my efforts were maybe unconventional, but I believe in tough love. This was SUnday, and the full moon has been showing its effects all week lol! I did hear he’s been contacting the friends he isolated to date me, and they are absolutely not accepting him back. Knowing this guy, that shows he’s getting tired of the woman he left me for (his ex, who he basically cheated on with me then did the same in return.)

      • OMG Jackie – that is just awful! :-( While I do not know the amount of money he owes you, if you discover it is prohibitive to get it back (i.e. not worth your legal efforts), you can reframe this experience by considering it as a tuition for some serious education, and that Spirit knew you could handle it or it wouldn’t have happened – know that recovery is imminent and ask for what was sacrificed to return to you in a beneficial way (perhaps one you are already thinking of, so state it after refining it to its very essence – that helps curb the surprises haha). This can be a healthy way to look at this, so that you don’t remain bitter about it and therefore remain attached to this energy – release of this will be so important to your health on many levels. My largest wish for this past full moon was to utterly shower you and all post commenters that have bravely shared their stories here with a large bubble of loving healing light to help you process and purify your recent experiences of the heart (and for those affected, your cash flow too)!

  68. Hi Lisa, my rising sun is in 18 deg taurus and sun sign is in 2 deg virgo. do you see anything coming for me after this venus rx? Thanks :)

    • Hello Maya! As mentioned above, Taurus rising has been affected by Venus Rx, so I would say yes, you will see change when it goes direct (which it did already luckily). I do believe all of us will sense change, but people that have Venus signature will feel it even more. Thanks for visiting Maya, I hope the changes are good for you!

  69. Hi Lisa, first I just want to say bless you for showing so much kindness to everyone on here with all your personal replies – if they feel like anything I do, then I know how much it must mean to them. I met my now ex-fiance in September 2010, we dated casually for a whole year and then eventually he decided I was the one and we got into a serious relationship the following September. A month later he proposed, it was my dream come true! I love him so much and couldn’t have been happier. But, we started having all sorts of problems, which got much worse around the December 10th 2012 eclipse. Is hould mention the problems didn’t seem real more like the universe taking control. In January he told his parents he wanted to postpone the wedding and on May 20th 2012 he ended the relationship. He still says he loves me and wants to be together, even right after the day we broke up. He says he felt pressured to make a decision that he wasn’t ready to make. In our culture however, now that its over and everyone knows its over- so we wouldn’t be able to date openly. I’m not sure that I even want to, but I have been seeing him this whole time. Any thoughts/advice would be much appreciated. I am cancer/scorpio rising (though I feel like a libra rising, is that possible?), he is gemini/taurus rising.

    • Hi Tiny! It sounds like you have an eclipse theme happening here, which did coincide with the Venus retrograde period as mentioned in this article. However, it is my belief that you had been dating long enough for him to “know” and to have an excuse that he is not ready now – well, I say release him fully. I feel that in most cases, a year is plenty of time to know and you are either available or not. Now that Venus is direct, I would instead put energy toward attracting a new relationship – and from a guy who is truly available. When you do that, make sure that YOU are also truly available and that you are a clean slate ready for the new and enriching experience. I am sure we all wish the very best for you! :-)

  70. I’m very interested by all the posts you’ve received here: it seems a lot of people have had experiences similar to mine. I met someone at work and started dating them around the time that Venus went retro… everything was going fairly well, we seem to want similar things, but he’s going through a very stressful time right now that began before I came on the scene: he just began working in our office about six months ago, his father has been very sick and had a close call during the time we were dating, and he’s closing in on a year of separation from his wife, with the intention to divorce once it’s legally possible.

    We’re both Leos (I’m Leo with Cancer rising and Scorpio Moon 07/27/74; I only know his birthday as 03/08/72, no time of birth). Out of the seeming blue, he tells me that he needs to be left alone, with no explanation or clarification as to where I stand, if anywhere; when pressed a bit, he only tells me that he realized that he cannot be in a serious relationship right now. Part of me understands that completely, but the other part is bewildered that he couldn’t actually sit with me and talk to me about it… up to that point, he’d made several unprovoked noises about wanting to be with me, saying that he felt at ease with me, and making general plans.

    I reacted quite emotionally at first, feeling completely shut out with no explanation or clarification. I’m now seeing that part of this experience is alerting me to my vulnerable places, where I feel triggered by another person’s behaviour or reaction, and seeing where I can separate my ego from the situation. I know this feels like being abandoned and I definitely have a strong trigger to that… he’s not even saying hello to me at work now, which just feels awkward to me.

    He has said that we will talk at some point in the future, but I’m not sure when or if that will happen. I’m trying to live as if it won’t, so as not to be disappointed either way. I don’t know him well enough to know if communication is a general issue with him, but I’m wondering if there’s any hope that this situation could turn around post retro…

    • Hmmm, due to timing, it could be an old issue rather than “the one” – but give it a few more days and if no contact, feel safe to move on. If contact does happen, you may need to reclarify what it is you seek in relationship and see if it matches what he seeks. Values can shift during the retrograde, and shift again afterward. I am sure someone reading the posts will want to see a relationship that started (or broke up) during the retrograde to work again and I won’t say it hasn’t happened – but what I would bet is that it would be “different” when going ahead. All of us are staying tuned!

    • Jeez I’m really not alone! Like you, roaring girl, mine was also going through a bad time. As a matter of fact, he’s been stressed. Both of his parents passed away within a short time of each other, he lived through a war zone, and had some major major health issues. The health issues began to heat up during the retro. He then said he believed it was a sign from God to stop sinning, and that I needed to choose. I told him I don’t need to do a thing- you’re the one with the revelation here. That was two days after retro, and we had a HUGE fight that night. We got over it, the next day had another HUGE fight. Things quieted down the weekend, but he went to his ex’s family picnic while I was left at home on my day off doing nothing. I was *furious.* The next day, a Monday, we got into another HUGE fight- this time the police were called. That was it. I met him a few weeks back to discuss some important issues, and he brought that woman with him! She was so evil that he wouldn’t even look off the pavement without her approval. After a very short tiff- the conversation ended. There’s been emails exchanged back and forth- ya know, I’m crazy, I had no business calling 911, I’m jealous of his ex (yeah, because if you saw her you’d know why- sense the sarcasm lol) I hear they were out of town this week which PISSES me off to no end, mainly because he owes me money. So, I’m hoping very much so that the karma and Venus direct bus hit them where it hurts.

  71. Early this year, I began dating a male friend of 2 years after he convinced me he was ready for a commited relationship + had stopped his player ways. On may 12, he helped me with my local move to a new home + I thought that was a sign of higher commitmemt on his part after us dating several months. Then suddenly a week later, broke up with me. It came out of left field. We got back together for a week but then he broke up again stating he had too many trust issues with women and was doomed to be dating without ever being in a committed relationship. He badly wanted to stay friends which I agreed to but the commnication broke down the 2nd week of june even further and he was said some mean things + hasn’t spoken to me since. He is virgo, libra rising with venus in scorpio born 9/14/62 pontiac MI @ 8:09am. I’m a capricorn taurus rising born 1/9/65 ludhiana, India @ 1:43pm. I’m very hurt at how he treated me + question whether he was playing me all along and have never seen him so mean + ruthless even when we used to be friends for years. Everyone who knows the situation says he will come back. I don’t know if that’s true and I’m not even sure I want him back. But I’m having a very hard time with this since it came out of left field. Do u think he is never going to be in a committed relationship or get back in touch with me. Its been weeks since I heard from him. I contacted him twice in the past few weeks to ask that we stay on good terms and he said he would call to discuss but never did.

    • Thank you, Dr. Mandal, for commenting on this Venus retrograde (now direct) blog post! Well, he is showing one method of handling his trust issues, and that is to just not trust. If he cannot trust a solid Capricorn with Taurus rising (in my experience, there is nothing held back, no surprises, and no cause for trust issues), he may just resign himself to not try anymore. I can assure you it was nothing you did – this is him. Now, I do not know if he will “ever” trust again, but I can tell you that he is not working at handling the core of his trust issues. It might be too painful for him, or he might now know how without help, and seeking help is interestingly also a trust issue. If you think he could be a friend again after his nasty behavior, that is OK, but if you think not, then if he comes back (yeah I think he may try), you need to speak your heart and your mind, perhaps bluntly but not angrily. If you are comfortable enough to let him know he needs help with this, suggest it. I do not think he “tricked” you into a relationship, I think he is really trying – but it is clear he doesn’t know how to heal. While I hope he pursues help at some level, I wouldn’t hold my breath. It may be too scary for him to go there and he may have decided it is just easier to only be involved with surface or unavailable relationships – and this type of arrangement is NOT for you! Find a guy without the trust issues who is truly available; that is my suggestion. Venus is now direct so who knows who may show up in your space? :-)

  72. Hi Lisa. Checking in. So I have still not heard from my boyfriend? Ex? Bu he still keeps posting my articles and saying how great I am. And he contacted one of my best friends and asked her to have coffee to ‘talk shop’. Then he contacted another one of my friends to ‘catch up’. He avoided the subject of me and then talked about me at the end and says he is just overwhelmed with everything in his life. But no mention of making things right with me. So, I have no idea what to think. I’m trying to move on, but it’s difficult when he keeps calling my friends and posting my articles and giving me glimpses like he wants to connect.

    • Oh Holly, that has to be in some ways just torture! You are doing the right thing, and to the extent you can, I would not respond to any of this (well unless it becomes direct – then I would confront the issue to resolve it, but otherwise, no). One day it may not matter anymore, just keep that in mind. Hoping things get better for you soon!

  73. First off, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to each of us individually! I have had the most intense Venus Retro period ever, it feels like- on June 13, I met an amazing man, and it has felt like destiny, hot and heavy right from the start. I have an ex-boyfriend who has been playing on-again, off-again games with me for going on two years now, and I see the Retrograde as an opportunity to finally cut ties with this man. Likewise, the man I just met has had many ex-girlfriends trying to date him during this time, and one night he had a bit of a meltdown and told me that he was feeling very confused, because the feeling he gets with me, like we are perfect for each other, is at odds with his player ways, and his tendency to play the field (he’s a rock star, always on tour, and women throw themselves at him daily). Since it was Venus Retrograde, I knew it wasn’t the time to make any decisions or commitments to each other, but even now that Venus has gone direct, our time together just feels more and more fated, more and more perfect. So I guess I am looking for guidance, is this relationship meant to last? Should I chalk it up as an amazing summer fling, or is his heart actually in creating a relationship with me? I haven’t had a successful, loving relationship since 2006, and I am too scared to go through more of this same heartbreak by another charming man that wanted to conquer me and then leave. I am a Sagittarius sun, Cancer rising, and Virgo moon. He is an Aries sun, Capricorn rising, Libra moon, Venus in Pisces, and Mars in Gemini.

    • Timing says Summer fling, but perhaps your relationship will shift into something it wasn’t before. Be open to how this will evolve if he is still in the picture OK? I am sure many people would like to know if this will work out so keep all of us posted OK?

  74. HI Lisa,

    I’ve been taking the Honeysuckle and Aspen (for hormonal related anxiety) Flower remedies for almost a week now but haven’t noticed much of a difference. These are the Bach Flower remedies though and I know they aren’t really made the same way any more. I discovered the Feel Bach remedies and am wondering if those will have more effect. Looking forward to hearing from you!

    • Hmm, Aspen is for unknown fears, not for fears of a known source (in your case, you mention hormones). Do you experience the fears as anxiety, or in another way? For instance, some people get nervous but other people get overbearing onto others, others withdraw and are not even present. Does that make sense? http://www.remedyguides.com/bachquiz.html can help. But finding the right remedy(ies) rarely happens through intellectual process alone, since it can sound like we need every flower on the list sometimes – but the core issue or personality is usually better found by another person. I could dowse it for you if you decide to do a consultation, but perhaps you can dowse for it yourself, or find one who can do that for you, or better yet, see if you have a flower essence consultant nearby. Also – what are the “Feel Bach” remedies, I am not familiar with those :-)

      • Oh ok, maybe I should just concentrate on the Honeysuckle for now? My biggest thing I want to fix right now is being able to let go of all of this that I have just been through in the last three weeks. I know it’s pesky Venus Retrograde that brought this person up from the past in the first place. So maybe once the shadow period is over at the end of this month that will also improve the way I feel. I’ve really only been taking the Honeysuckle for maybe a week consistently I’m just not sure how long it takes to really work and help me to let this silliness go. Is there anything else I need to do along with it? Also, I’ve been feeling a bit worse lately and am wondering if this is maybe a part of the “healing crisis”. Sorry for all of the questions but I’m so new to Flower Essences that I have tons of questions :) The Feel Bach remedies are flower essences I found here http://feelbach.com/personal_remedy.htm?refID=glfb. I definitely feel the anxiety and the fact that I have a difficult time coping with stress is from my hormonal imbalance and Adrenal Fatigue. I guess it’s just so hard to be patient while the healing takes place. I just want to feel better now :)

      • I’m also wondering if Mimulus might benefit me, as I have a constant fear and worry for things closest to me. When I really have no reason to fear at all.

      • My feeling is that Honeysuckle is working for you, and that Aspen is not the choice for at least now. As for Mimulus, the description you mention actually sounds closer to Red Chestnut, which is an over-concern for others – often things out of your control – and that can fit a Cancer energy signature better if you ask me. Feeling worse IS a sign of things working, but you can speed up the process by sitting still and listening to the emotion that is brought to your attention, regardless of how unpleasant it is. You will hear a whisper of a way that helps you properly reframe an experience. When we do not have the right information on how to interpret our experiences and process our emotions (they don’t exactly teach us this in school haha!), it can lead to handling future situations incorrectly that then bring us results we do not wish to have. If you can be open to relearning, you will hasten this process – and yet at the same time you do not want to rush and short-cut the learning. Learn it correctly from the foundation up to your present, and then act differently in the future that brings about more desirable results.

        AH – so FeelBach.com is a service that blends Bach Flower Essences or Remedies and creates a custom remedy – that is great! I feel like the Honeysuckle one right now is doing some work, but later if you want to do a blend, I am getting Honeysuckle (you may need that one for awhile), Red Chestnut as mentioned, and possibly Star of Bethlehem to process trauma and Gorse to restore hope. In my experience, Cancers need their essences around 8 months, since they can only take a small amount of change at a time. However, you should start to notice effects immediately (and yes, worsening is common), and the effects may change as you learn during this time, it just takes around 8 months to finally integrate and fully learn the lessons of those flowers that are teaching! Let me know what you decide to do Penny! Also, try reading more fully about the flower’s personality in eBooks at http://EdwardBach.org as well as physical books. One of my favorites is Bach Flower Therapy, Theory and Practice by Mechthild Scheffer http://astore.amazon.com/astroherbcom-20/detail/0892812397 – deep stuff in there!

      • Ok so I will cut the Aspen out completely and just focus on the Honeysuckle for now. I know I really need to let this go because there’s no threat to our relationship, the trust and forgiveness is there, but it still plays through my mind and frightens me. I also want to be mindful of those thoughts because the last thing I want to do is manifest that into my life ya know? Ok so the Red Chestnut can help with the worry I have of the situation? I will definitely look into that as well. Also, I’m currently taking 4 drops of Honeysuckle in water, 4 times a day. I’m not too sure if that’s the correct amount to take. You mentioned: “You will hear a whisper of a way that helps you properly reframe an experience. When we do not have the right information on how to interpret our experiences and process our emotions (they don’t exactly teach us this in school haha!), it can lead to handling future situations incorrectly that then bring us results we do not wish to have. If you can be open to relearning, you will hasten this process – and yet at the same time you do not want to rush and short-cut the learning. Learn it correctly from the foundation up to your present, and then act differently in the future that brings about more desirable results.” I’m not quite sure I understand how to do this but I am certainly open to learning! Anything to make myself better and yield desirable results in my life. I’ve also stopped bringing it up to him as we’ve talked about it multiple times and I fear if I continue to pester him with it it will scare him away. He’s sincerely apologized millions (almost literally ha ha) of times and said that he made a mistake and that he has learned from it and it will not happen again. I believe him. Why doesn’t my brain stop the negativity? Ugh….I will get there I guess…I just have to be patient. I SO appreciate being able to come to you for guidance, it helps me so much.

      • That sounds good for now Penny. Yes, please research the others but note that they were ones my intuition was picking up that you need to investigate. Go with YOUR gut and if you feel confirmation, then do it when the time is right (and I think you may know when that is). The process I mentioned above works differently for everyone, but as an example, when I take flower essences, within a couple of days (or less), I am just living my life when in random moments, I will get these total “Aha!” moments, where I put two and two together totally differently than what I did before. It is subtle education, but powerful and not to be underestimated. However, it usually takes awhile to even use the information and integrate it into my life. Other people end up crying for no reason, or attract worse things to happen (so they learn), or a whole bunch of other things. I knew at one time I had trouble saying no to others and yet denying my own needs by turning away help when it was offered. One day, when grocery shopping, I was asked if I wanted help taking my groceries out and I was dead tired as a single mother, but my normal habit was to say no – suddenly, I stopped and realized how totally stupid that was – and I say YES PLEASE! My life made big changes after that small test. Stuff like that!! I am sure the Cancers of the world would love to know how this rolls out for you – they may be educated too!

      • Ok wonderful, I will start my research right away. In the mean time…guess what I found out yesterday? I got my results back from my Thyroid panel and turns out my thyroid is low again….this explains the loss of appetite and the emotional issues I’ve been experiencing… “Low thyroid hormones, and the common occurrence of sluggish, poorly functioning adrenals, can play a role in a variety of emotional and behavioral symptoms and disturbances, including anxiety, excessive fear, mood swings like bi-polar, rage, irritability, paranoid schizophrenia, confusion, dementia, obsessive/compulsive disorders, and mental aberrations.” Anxiety and excessive fear….yep that sounds like me in the last 3 weeks…it all makes sense now. I’m continuing on the Honeysuckle and will listen to my body to see when I should start the others. I love that man with all my heart and I know everything will be ok :)

      • Oh I see! While flower essences are immensely helpful, you may need some nutritional (and herbal) help for the stuff that is physical, and as I remember you are already seeing someone for this aspect of your healing, right? Wishing you recovery Penny!

      • Yep, I actually discovered that Gluten is what has been attacking my Thyroid. So I’ve stopped eating that and I’m taking a natural thyroid supplement. Here’s to a full recovery! Thanks for ALL of your wisdom Lisa….I greatly appreciate it :)

  75. i have an update… and not a happy one. i decided to confront my now ex guy, because no closure was eating me up. turns out it snowballled, and he didnt know how to say things, didnt know how he felt about us, until it was too late. distance and work was a factor, but he also met somebody at work, although by how he described their situation i quote “we probably arent even going to go out” it doesnt even sound serious. i dont know if this happened during the retro, but given the timing of when things went bad between us, i think he met her during then. i am devastated and got offered a job in the city he works in, i feel like i am just bad luck personified. he admitted he was a coward and although he thought things were becoming more difficult he was unsure – i guess meeting somebody, whether its just a fling or not, put the distance issue into perspective. i hope we can reunite one day, because i have never felt like this about anyone, yet this is the worst break up i have ever experienced, because at least had he told me sooner, and left out the part about meeting someone else, it couldve been less painful for me, but knowing there is someone who has taken my place, has hurt me the most x

    • Oh, did you just do this in the last couple of days, with the recent Full Moon in Capricorn conjunct Pluto (and squaring Uranus in Aries), and Mars just now entering Libra? I could see how this tension build-up would prompt you to just find out, and I can imagine this would indeed release energy, perhaps in a very angry way, and not pleasantly at all. I realize you are now more sad, but do you feel better knowing the truth, versus what was your idea? Regardless of how painful truth is, I am pretty convinced that it is a better place to work from rather than clinging to our story, often a false one due to our misunderstanding of what was really happening. I think you have learned MUCH from this Venus retrograde experience. Perhaps some Rescue Remedy in your purse while you are moving and working at your new job will allow you to release the emotions of this experience in a healthy way would be in order. Know that there must be an even better reason you are moving and working in the new space – something great that you have not yet discovered could be waiting for you, and in the meantime, live your life the best you can! You will recover from this Lisa, I know it!

      • i texted him on the 3rd July, late at night, and he replied the next morning.. i guess i should feel better, i just wish he couldve left out the part about someone else. even if it isnt serious, why feel the need to tell me? either way, from what it sounds like from him, it was eating at him and it got so beyond the point of no return to have the talk, and as i wasnt contacting him, he just left it.. he said circumstances werent great as it was getting harder to see eachother regulalry with work… and then the bombshell of the i met someone at work, and whilst we werent going out, arent currently going out and probably wont go out, it felt unfair to be in contact with you and her.. and because of the distance, he chose her.

        i sent a very cohrent, intelligent reply back, then telling him how ironic it is that as you tell me this, i have just been offered a job in the city. he hasnt replied, he may never reply, but i hope HOPE pray everything, he is feeling guilty at how he treated me (he acknowledges that he has been a coward and that it wouldve made me feel awful) and that knowing that i now have a job near him, he is kicking himself. hard.

      • Yep, that is when Mars entered Libra too – snap! I do not think he was trying to deliberately hurt you with bringing up another person even if she is not important to him. I think he is telling you that he doesn’t know what he really wants (or if he thinks he knows, there is conflict with that somewhere that he has not figured out and may take a very long time to figure out). So obviously, not knowing what he wants will bring a hodge-podge of things he may not have known that he doesn’t want, see? My guess is that he is a Libra who is processing and therefore truly unavailable, no matter who he is seeing.

        Becoming clear about what you want in relationships is good – and you will attract what you want, not what you don’t want, when you do that. If it looks like stuff you do not want, you immediately restate your desires (maybe with some refinement so the intention is even clearer) and let all else go. I would hope one of those things on your list of what you want is a brave person who can be honest and immediate, rather than a coward. He is telling you that he is the wrong choice for you in the only way he knows how. Whether he is kicking himself or not isn’t the issue – it is whether you learned to manifest what you wish for (and that the wish is realistic but I think honesty and the ability to feel love as deeply as you do is realistic), and the moment you realize it is something else, to act immediately to create that wish. His lesson is his, not yours, let it go. Staying attached to the outcome of another is not helping you (and I often discover that letting go allows you to learn anyway if you need to know, so don’t stress on that either). Actually my wish for him is to arrive at a space where he knows what he wants, and that those wants are not just all in his head but in his heart, thereby making those things consistent. But only he can arrive at this on his own and he may take awhile to get there – that journey is his, I wish him well. Your journey is yours – and I wish you well also! Refining your desires in a partner is a good place to start, and I do believe opportunity is coming for you – have a clean slate with no residue and be ready to accept those beautiful gifts fully as they are presented to you!

      • well my now ex libra contacted me 36 hours after i sent a reply to his text. i was quite surprised by it, given that i didnt leave much scope for a response for him, apart from me not so much accusing him, it was because he didnt make it at all clear when he met this new person, so i phrased it that i felt used until he finally figured out his feelings for that person, still i didnt expect anything back. i have to say that there was no anger on my part, with all the tension build up, i did it in a very calm manner, confront is just a very strong word. piecing his behaviour since i last saw him, and piecing together the two texts i got from him, i think the break up he wanted initially started before venus retro, although was not official until after the retro. he told me the distance was causing problems but then he wasnt sure, obviously as “time and life went on” as he put it, someone else came about during the retro that could just solve the issue of him not being alone.

        it was funny in his second text, that although the cheating “accusation” was such a big part of my message, he did not acknowledge it at all until after talking about my new job. and why take 36 hours to clarify you didnt meet this person until after me? i have a gut feeling that because he now knows i am moving to the city it was a shock to the system, especially as distance was the main factor here. it was also interesting to read (a few days after the breakup, clearer head etc) just how much he is justifying to himself about what he did, not so much trying to justify it to me. im a psychologist so its always interesting to see how people respond and react to situations. i think i can see some real regret and “kicking himself” behaviour here for what he did, and now the only thing he can do is jusitfy it to himself as he explains why he did what he did.

        at least it wasnt me, i didnt drive him away. it was just the distance. but i think he now realises, had we talked about this situation, we could have discussed what my plans were for moving, and then as a couple we decide where to go, i cannot blame him for the distance, it is and was a factor and neither of us could guarantee i woudl be moving – i can almost 100% guarantee he never thought i was moving to his city, i never brought it up as i didnt want him to think i was moving for him – it was always my plan whether he was in my life or not. and now my instintcs are telling me, or maybe im kidding myself, but perhaps now he is kicking himself for it. the fact how he describes how he doesnt expect things to go very far with the new girl seems to speak volumes as well, although he told me that before i mentioned i got a new job.

        venus retro highlighted so much stuff and it highlighted my gut instinct that distance was always going to be a the major factor, i had thought about this when we started dating, but it really came to light during the retro. i feel i have come out of this more mature, im glad i didnt get my original job when i had the first interview during venus retro – it could have got messy with him when obviously he had met somebody else by that point. when i move down, and perhaps our paths might cross since we have mutual friends, it’ll be interesting to see what comes of it, because now i know, it was just distance that caused it and nothing else. and hopefully we have both grown up a bit!

      • Hi Lisa, thanks for stopping back by! That is an interesting observation and I am so glad you are feeling better about this whole thing. Perhaps this has helped both of you get closer to the idea of what it is you actually want, right? I am happy that your tension is relieved with this, because I know you have new energies coming in and feeling free of the past is a good way to allow them in to do their magic hehe! Hope you keep up with us here, I am sure some of us (especially those with Pisces personal placements) will possibly learn from your experiences!

  76. it has taught me to be more assertive!! i was never the one to confront any situation in a relationship that made me feel uncomfortable. having a long distance one made me face my fears. and teach me that i wont do long distance unless i have been with somebody for a while and a situation like a job means we have to be LD for a while hehe.

    i still want him back, and because he didnt cheat on me, there are less hard feelings on him. i think i feel sorry for him more than anything, because of his own fears at confronting a situation (guess he and i are more alike than we realise) he has spectacularly ruined something that was good, moved on to someone to fill the void who im sure he likes, but im very sure when he found out im moving, there was an element of regret in breaking up in the first place without giving it a shot. so we will see what happens! we didnt technically break up over the retro, officially, venus was direct, but piecing together dates etc, i think he wanted to call it just before the retro, and the new girl arrives during it. we will see what happens when i eventually move in the next few weeks! if he comes back, the venus retro teaching me to be more assertive about what i want will definitely come into action :)

  77. Hi Lisa!
    I wrote about the Aries I met during Venus Retrograde. Well, he is back in our town tomorrow for a stop during his tour around the country, so it has been 3 weeks, and we have kept in contact the entire time. We just set up a time to meet as soon as he arrives back home tomorrow, and he is making sure I can get into the show his band will be playing here in our hometown. To be honest, I didn’t think we would possibly last after the Retrograde! But I still feel the same butterflies and excitement as I did when we first met. He hasn’t really given me any hints that something could happen between us long-term, but I am trying to remain relaxed and give him all the freedom he could ever ask for, and he keeps coming back. Now of course we are in a Mercury Retrograde, so I wonder if that could have a negative impact on our reunion tomorrow?

    • Hi Colette! I think you are doing the right thing. While Mercury Rx can mix up signals (so be aware of that), I think the Venus Rx says you will be friends too. But what did you learn? You learned a FEELING. This will be important down the road, as our feelings can communicate MUCH about a person and the “mix” of the two of you, the stuff that flows and the stuff that doesn’t. Education, right? Then, when you feel these same thing(s) again, you can know a little about how things could move. Everyone is different but you will have feelings from everyone you encounter, and recognizing where there is flow (and fireworks) is a really good thing! Keep us posted Colette!

  78. Hi Lisa, I hope I can speak for many of us who have read this blog that we have learned so much from your responses here on Venus retrograde both natally and in transit and how to handle it in future times that most astrologers have not shared with the same ease and clarity. Are you going to post other of your insights on other planets retrograde, that we all grapple with natally and as transits, that other astrologers never seem to quite explain in your informative way? For example, Saturn and Neptune which always come across quite negatively especially natally. Jupiter retrograde natally would also be of interest. What are your thoughts on the 29 degrees of planets in a natal or composite chart too? Sorry to give you more work to consider on top of your probably increasing list already.
    We love you!! Jen

  79. Hi Jen! You are so awesome, nice to see you here :-) Indeed, other retrograde planets WILL be addressed on this blog, still putting my post together so that it reads easily. When a planet is natally retrograde, it means there is an “inner” way it works, rather than being outer. Vedic Astrologer Sam Geppi speaks about how the internal expression becomes extremely refined, but externally in the world, there could be adjustments to be made, and he is pretty specific about these. While it is a different astrology system, I find his observations rather uncanny! As an example, if one has a Mars retrograde natally, they may learn early how to tame their temper and focus their physical energy, but have trouble with brothers and sisters or other rivals – this is until they learn to balance the energy, so it is not fated. However, it could be tricky to always be in balance when the tendency out of habit rather than being mindful could throw it off again until you consciously bring the balance back. The challenges for going out of balance happen with our transits and progressions. As for planets or points that are near 29 degrees, I find that this is often an evolution or a refining of the zodiac sign (and/or planet) involved, so that there is a very high vibration expression. However, the challenges to get to that highly refined expression are usually harder, just as if we could compare 2nd grade assignments with those of a doctor or engineer in graduate school!

  80. Yay! venus retrogrades finally leaves its post-retrograde shadow and I can def feel a shift in change, a more lighter feel. All I know is that my sun sign is taurus and this venus retrograde felt like I was turned upside down. Of course I broke up with a lover(gemini) during retrograde because I saw his dark/evil side and did not like it one bit. Of course another ex-lover (aries) contacted me 6 years post-break up and I ignored him by the way he was never any good. My gemini ex tried to contact me last night 2 months after not hearing at all from him. I’m self employed and business slowed down too, thank goodness it started to pick up little by little in the last couple of days. All in all this has been a learning experience. I was deceived and betrayed but in the end it made me less naive and gullible. Thank you Lisa for all your advice on all this planetary madness. Let’s see what august brings after venus finally leaves gemini on the 7th… pheww. I’m taurus (05/02/86) and the ex is gemini (05/28/85) if that makes any sense.

    • Hi Lorraine, yes indeed – your experience does fit with the energies! :-) However, I have noticed that many Tauruses have moved LEAPS forward after Venus retrograde – I think it is because it helped clear out what (who) wasn’t supposed to be in your life anymore, making room for Jupiter to bring BLESSINGS! You see, it just entered Gemini and while it can be beneficial for Geminis – it is beneficial for Taurus because Gemini is your solar-chart money house! But be careful with spending, since by autumn, Saturn will be in Scorpio, opposing your sign – spend wisely, with thought of value and investment rather than frivolous purchases, and you will be ahead of the game!

  81. Hi lisa.

    i was hoping you could help me :) Im a Gemini sun/ Cancer moon and my ex is an Aquarius sun/Cap moon. We have been together for two years and seven months. Around Feb we started having problems over him getting jealous when my ex came around thinking i was flirting. I wasnt. I had enough on my plate though and our communication was becoming shifty. We ended a few days before Vday. We barely talked on and off the few next months, as he was getting ready to go to school and i was planning on moving to where he lived and going to school. Around May, we cut tires all together bc he was getting to the point he didnt know if he did or didnt want to be with me, and honestly i did too. We cut ties and around June (near the end) he wanted to talk to me. We talked once, and again on June 28 or in that area. Well July 1st, he asked me to be his again. Said he had been thinking about us and wanted to really try to work it out. Well we did, but we were both way to busy to even talk. In the time of dating him, it was weird bc with the fact of us not being able to communicate, it didnt feel like we were dating. i felt we were going to break up again and sure enough we did. He messaged me early July saying that he didnt love me anymore, and that he was sorry. I got upset and finally told him he shouldve never came back. That i didnt understand why he couldnt have thought it out before, and he apologized. A few hours later, one of his friends messaged me telling me that he told her he didnt mean it, but he felt it was for the better, bc of the distance. Which i cant lie, I love him to death, but the distance does kill. Im not sure if me even moving at the point would save us or not, bc in the time of all this Venus in Retro, i realize that i cant do this any longer. i do want to be by his side. Im just wondering if its too late in time for there to a change in his mind? Or if its permanant? Please help, this gemini misses her Aquarius more than anything </3.

    • Thanks for stopping by today. I realize that the Gemini part of you is thinking about all the “stuff” as you mention above, but it seems to me that you may want to consider that Cancer Moon. When I read this, clearly your needs (Moon) are not being met. While I can understand loving someone even if they are not meeting your needs, I would like you instead to release this relationship lesson to Spirit and love yourself more. I would like the next relationship you have to actually meet your needs. I have not really seen any Moon in Cancers do well in a distance relationship so if this is what will happen, write it off before it becomes a problem. Now if you keep finding long-distance issues, please find the part of you that isn’t ready for relationship and either just know that is where you are, or if you really do want a relationship, to realize some emotional work needs to be done first in order to bring in what you seek. As for the Aquarius with Capricorn Moon, this signature alone lives in their head more than their heart (until they learn, that is). So I can see how he “thought” it could be different, as he may not have been paying attention to his emotional needs either – so forgive him for not knowing to look at his heart first – it is a hard lesson for this combination and I hope one day (sooner rather than later) he will discover this and even make his own life much easier :-) In the meantime, please learn from this and pursue your happiness in the world anyway! ;-)

  82. Peace n blessing Lisa.Im from seychelles and im an artist ,this year started from january i meet a girl through fb and she lives in america.she is born on 8 march 1990 while me on 9 july 1983.we develope a a good friendly relation together and then around feb to march we developed a strong intense feeling of love for each other,and we use to start calling each other and things was goin well then one night she miss call me and i couldnt reply her,the next morning when i woke i was a bit stressing and i call her back by replying a with a bit of arrogance since the topic she wanted to speak about was one that we have gone over couple of time.And that same day we felt in a big argument.She was also a bit jealous cause sometimes on fb some female friend sometimes press the like button and post comment on my pic.We have made so many plan to meet in the year so we can get to know each other.She cut off from me since the end of april but sometimes inboxing sweet words,but though this she did that ,she was still revolving around a control issue with me and in june she told what we have ha finish but still we were talking.By the end of june she completely block her contact wtih me,and it was in one day 20-30 she start messaging me and on the 1 of august we start talking but she was trying to make me jealous and sometimes ignoring men then on the 5th i ask her to leave me alone if we will go on like this by her playing with my emotion.she did leave me and now i feel sad cause i still love her and i know that she still love me thought we have never met,but we are still in contact it is just that she is not talking with me much,i dont know what to do,last two days on wed she told me that yes she want to meet me but she can no more dictate things according to her will and she is relying on the the divine and cosmos to guide everything.I just want to know if there is a possibility that things come back to normal between the two of us soon.This girl i love her so much,no one has ever lift me up that high and i know that she still have a deep feeling for me and it is only that she is harbouring fear so much.She told me that yes she want to meet but i dont know whats happening right now ,im very confuse and i dont want to start something new over again.help me lisa.

    • Oh I am sad to read about all of your heartbreak, but it seems to me there are problems that haven’t been resolved, and from what I see here, it also seems to me they will not be resolved. If you guys hadn’t even met yet and there are problems, it only gets worse in person, not better. I believe you are quite romantic but if you have not met, then please know you can only be in love with the idea of her – not her. I just don’t see this working out, sorry to say. With you being a Cancer, it is hard to let go though, I can understand. Please release her, but with compassion and love, not anger or resentment. Know that love can come again and express itself better next time. To help in your process, I hope you have access to purchase a flower essence (Bach is a popular brand worldwide) – “Honeysuckle” is really good for Cancers in my experience, since it helps them get past the nostalgia and brings them more into the present. Visualize both of you finding whatever it is that brings both of you happiness and fulfillment, as everyone deserves that. Chances are these would be different things (or people). By October, Saturn will travel through in Scorpio, benefiting your Cancer Sun and planets and moving forward will be easier. I wish you the very best!

  83. Hello Lisa!
    I wanted to update you on Aries/Cap rising man: he did come into town, and it was pretty awful. He almost didn’t seem like the same man! I can’t help but think that touring has affected his ego in some non-complimentary ways. I decided to not try and connect with him anymore while he was here, especially since it was Mercury retrograde at the time. He still did call me to make sure I was able to come see his show, and told me there would be a ticket waiting for me. I was surprised, but went, had a good time, and got a chance to go backstage. Well, with a few exceptions, he acted like he didn’t know me! Now, I was ready to leave and go home, but I waited til we were alone (I had to wait a very long time, because he flirted with every girl in the place before he came to talk to me). I thanked him kindly for the opportunity to go to the show (I found out many people were hoping to get tickets from him, but he saved it for me), but told him I didn’t appreciate his behavior and that it was goodbye. I said it all very unemotionally. He offered to “get ahold of me” when he is back, but I told him to not bother. Well, on August 5 he sent me a text message, asking me how I was, and letting me know he’d be home in a week, and asked if he would see me when he is back. I am beyond confused, and just not sure if he is trying to “line his ducks up in a row” for when he is back, or if actually feels something for me. Do you get any feelings about us Lisa? I wish I didn’t feel anything, but he has been in my dreams almost every night, and I wish I wasn’t excited for him to be back…but I am :( What should I do? I have so many conflicting emotions about this man. Thank you for all your guidance.

    • Oh Colette :-( While I think that he likes you, I would say that his business at this time takes precedence for him. That is not a bad thing on its own but it seems to me your needs are not being met. You need someone who is more present than what he is capable of at this time. I am glad you had a good time at the show, but it seems that you are not the type of girl that can deal with this type of scenario – and honestly, not very many can. I would release him to the Universe, even though you like him so much – it really seems that this situation at this time cannot reach a good medium without compromise on either end. You can do this in your dreams too. In the future, I hope you can find a partner that more closely meets your needs – and I wish him the best on his career too!

  84. Hi lisa,im thankful for the advice you gave for it really make sense.Ive make my decision last night and i have talk to her without about both of us and i have release her as you have told me,and i sense that the universe also was telling me to let go.I feel that ppl comes into our lives and go for a reason.It is only the memory of her that is troubling me everyday.I also sense that things would have never work though we were fighting to keep it goin on and the more that i was goin to insist the consequences of it would have been more painful than what im feeling now.Ive learn that all event is subjected cyclically.Also numerically the energy she vibes with mine is difficult to maintain,a no 8 and no 9……saturn and mars.Thank u so much lisa.peace n blessing

  85. Hello lisa, I was getting to know a boy earlier on this year. He had been liking me for over a year and half and struggled to ask for my number, actually saying even hello to me. We exchanged numbers on the 16th of february and started communicating via text on the 17th February. Our communication between us was ongoing for 5 months with a few patchy days in-between. Bear in mind this was only through a one decent phone call and seeing each other at work every Saturday. On July 21st it all ended with a mistake from my end. I had apologised on 2 of occasions but he seems somewhat very stubborn. Is there any chance of us ever meeting up again although I do see him every saturday. Will we ever sort our differences out and reconcile? We did most of the time feel as if we had known each other for a very long time maybe in our past lives but I’m not sure whether he believes in such things. We were only friends but spoke about a lot of things and had a very wonderful journey together. I’m also struggling to still let him go. My birthday falls on the lunar eclipse 28 november will this help in anyway?

    • Hello there, I like your username! :-) Without doing a formal reading, my first inclination is to figure out why it never got past texting and casual conversation to begin with, despite some of your topics being deep. In other words, once those things were presented, why didn’t this bring a new level of security to then pursue the next level (and you are right, it would be his response/initiation at that point). So something is amiss – a misunderstanding of what has occurred in conversation. Or if there was no misunderstanding and he is just too shy, he would not be right for an honest-living Sag anyway! ;-)

      I think your birthday having a partial Lunar Eclipse will indeed bring another answer to the puzzle as to why it was not working. I honestly don’t see it clearing so much as to create a real, deep relationship with him, because he must also want to clear his deeper issues too (and we cannot do the work for others, only ourselves). I see it happening more like, “Oh, THAT is why it never got past casual conversation way back when.” Whether there is past lives involved or not, the idea is that if they are not ready, you need to release them and to just cross paths with them at another time (even if it is a future life). Sometimes people come into our lives ONLY for the purpose of releasing them, and the issue(s) associated with them – in this case, it seems there is some disconnection of understanding. Release him, but more importantly, release the issue. Then ask the Universe to reveal to you in an effortless way a DEEPER loving relationship, one that works and honors all of who you are. If you are having trouble releasing, think about Rescue Remedy or another flower essence that matches your energy pattern of why you are unable to release. Even if he WERE the one, you would still need to release because you are releasing the ISSUE of disconnection. I hope that helps!

  86. Hi lisa, first time on your blog and the content is really cool and insightful! I was wondering about events or relationships formed right before the retrograde shadow particularly april 13th of last year. Is the date still alusive to the retrograde? Or what influencies exist around tus date?

    • Thanks for your awesome comment Anika, hope you are on the email list (link in right column toward top and bottom). Yes, the shadow period can affect this, seeing how it wasn’t very long to temper a relationship and then going through the “storm” of the retrograde. Did you find there were some struggles when that happened? I am guessing that the issues could have gone either way, but they arose to be addressed! Wondering if this was your experience?

  87. I havent been on here for ages and its still so useful to read up on the comments! last year during the retrograde, my relationship ended with my now ex, but also with my now former friend who was part of the betrayal of knowing my ex was seeing other people whilst with me. since breaking up with him and moving to his city and starting my new job i was treading carefully because i was still heartbroken.

    a guy i went to college with got in touch with me via facebook the day he saw i was moving to london, and although nothing initially happened (he asked me out for a drink but failed to actually follow through on that) a couple of months later he got in touch again and this time arranged a time to meet after work. we would text every single day, mainly him, and i have to say i was starting to like him a lot. i think we both had a crush on each other during our college years but we he had a long term girlfriend at the time. things were going well considering we had only been seeing each other i guess for a couple of months, when all of a sudden, come the first week of January this year, he wants to sort of call it off citing work is taking up all his time and he doesnt want to “string me along”. normally i would take work to be a rubbish excuse but he had started on a new project at his job which had started to slowly stress him out (think early starts, 10pm finishes). i wonder if you see if anything could reignite between us? it seemed like such an abrupt end that even his email didnt seem to clarify whether it was an end or not, just simply said he didn’t want to string me along but didnt say goodbye or its over either. and his phone is currently broken so we had to communicate all of this by email. it just seems so weird that he pursued me quite heavily and its not like i gave in straight away. my d.o.b. is 19/03/1988 and his is 24/06/1988. any insight would be so appreciated, thank you so much xx

    • Hi Kate! Thanks so much for checking back – it is nice to see my posts have some longevity indeed! My first hit is that he is not lying about being busy at work, and that if he works hard now, he could enjoy a promotion and the success of that but that he cannot wait for that. He needs to be noticed now. So the thing is to me that this relationship apparently didn’t get close enough; so that he feels that your active presence in his life would help, rather than be in the way, of this pursuit. I know that Cancers can really keep people “at bay” and not allow them to be too close for a long time for fear of getting hurt. Did you ever break this barrier before this work opportunity happened? I am just trying to give you some insight, as you may have mistaken how far things were along. If there is no bad feelings involved, I would respond once (not anymore than that) as follows (and in your own words): “I am sorry you do not feel that my presence in your life will enhance your career pursuits, as I thought I was supportive of your efforts to reach your goals. The way I saw it, my support would have made your work easier, not harder. I will bow out of your life to give you this space as you request, and while I do not know the future, I hope both of us find success in all areas of our lives.” Then, bow out girl! Luckily, Venus is not retrograde now! New energies are abound to meet people whose goals may match yours better, as well as that you might energetically match. If he reevaluates and contacts you again? Well I hope he is in time before you meet someone else that fits better! This could be a lesson for him to not hesitate and lose everything by not acting, and a lesson for you to be confident and pursue ALL of what it is you want in a relationship. Nothing should be pushed of course, nor should it stagnate; but evolve naturally and flow. I hope this helps Kate – please keep us all posted!!

      • thats really interesting thank you. i know his job is important to him and we talked about it a lot right from the start, he would text me late at night to let off some steam about his work so its comforting to know it wasnt me but the work itself. when we iniitally started dating his work was busy but not horrifically so, so he had time to see me.

        i guess we hadnt dated long enough to perhaps break this barrier you speak of, i guess its confusing because of how heavily he pursued me (and i said this to him when i responded a few weeks ago after he said he didnt want to string me along).
        but, its odd because he would seem to get very personal with a lot of things, ask me for advice on a lot of things related to his work (even though we are in completely different work industries and i still dont quite understand what his job is lol!), ask me very coupley things like what he should wear to his work black tie event asking me for advice on his clothing, when i stayed over i met his flatmate who is his brother, and also met his brothers girlfriend. to me it seemed like it was building up to something, and he also had started telling his friends, both our mutual friends from college, but also work colleagues about us (see the confusion here!). we both broke up with our exes back in july, he was on and off long term with his ex gf of 5 years (they met at college) and he finally called things off (im guessing they havent got back together, im paranoid he may have met somebody else which is what happened with my ex when he broke up with me). it just seemed like something was bringing us together after all this time, that how could it suddenly end?

        i did respond a few weeks ago when this happened, to say that i supported his career and that once he finds he can balance his work and personal life better he knows where to find me, and left it at that. as i said, him not having a phone is quite the killer in all of this because we could have tried to discuss this better rather than over an email, which i hate using to discuss anything with anyway! and whether this is just a typical man trait or a cancer trait, he still hasnt actually got it fixed yet. i know he has a work phone but not sure he can really use it for personal use as im not allowed with mine, so its hard for him to actually make contact. i guess im hoping that this is giving him time to re-evaluate what we were as actually this break has given me the time to re-evaluate what i want with him. i was still being held back by my ex who i loved dearly and who hurt me so badly but now i want him in my past (and in my past for good!!) and move forward and make this guy a part of my future whether its permanent or not.

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